Top 10 Goals for 2019

I think it’s important to not only discuss your goals but have a plan to execute them as well. A goal without a plan is a wish as the saying states. To keep me honest I felt that I would utilize this post to detail my top goals for 2019. I thought that I would not only list out my goals but how I plan to execute them as well. I will keep you posted on my progress throughout the year. Please call me out as well if I don’t mention any of my goals after this post. I need to be accountable if I’m going to accomplish them. Also, knowing that other people are reading this is giving me even more motivation. We all need that extra push and seeing this in plain black and white is a great motivator.

My goals for the year are:

1. Travel More

Last year I stated that I would travel once a quarter. I achieved just that, and I would like to continue that into 2019. I accomplished this goal by having a travel fund and adding it into my budget to save money for my travel activities. I will continue to plan out all my travel activities to ensure that I have adequate funds to participate.

2. Purchase Real Estate

I know at first this sounds like I mean home, townhouse, or condo. That would be nice, but that’s not what I’m going to have. I want to open my own business. Being an entrepreneur is something that I have discussed for the longest, and this will finally be my year to accomplish this goal. I want to purchase a building to start my financial service business. I want to teach others in my community how to manage their money, learn more about stocks/bonds, retirement and credit solutions. I want others to be more financially independent as a way to generate wealth. The way to break the curse of poverty is by creating wealth through real estate. I saw a video by a CPA that stated that the way to generate wealth is via the tax code. That is how many people pay less in taxes and create equity. To achieve this, you would need to be knowledgeable and having your credit/savings in order. In the next few months, I am going to reach out to a realtor to help with finding the right place for my business.

3. Publish my Poetry Book

I have been working on this book for as long as I could remember. I’m sure my friends are tired of me talking about this book and are ready to read it already. I will be granting your wishes as 2019 is the year for this book to see the light of day. I will be self-publishing the book which I am very nervous about since I have no idea what to expect. I have to make sure every detail down to the cover looks perfect. I can’t wait for everyone to see the finished product as I’m so proud to show it off. Look out for my book later this year at an Amazon near you.

4. Start a New Job

I have been at my current employer for nine years well ten this year, and it’s time for a change. One thing that worries me is getting stagnant staying at one place too long. At this point, I feel like I have plateaued in my current team. I still have things that I can contribute however I’m not learning nor growing anymore. I have overstayed my welcome, and it’s time to move on to greener (hopefully) pastures. I have been comfortable for so long, and that is the reason why I stayed. Therefore, it’s time to step outside of my comfy zone and look forward to looking for a new role. I will start applying for a job internally and post my resume on LinkedIn to get eyes to my talents.

5. Fall in Love (Fingers crossed)

My love life is on my list every year and every year I fail miserably. This time I am saying no more, and I am going to make a considerable effort to make sure it happens. One of the issues that I have is not dating with a purpose. I’ll state what I want, but I don’t follow through with it. For example, I want someone who is ready and will make time for a relationship. Then the guy will give a sob story, and I’ll forgive them for nonsense. I don’t listen to my gut when I notice red flags but brush it off as if I’m overreacting. I am not and if that guy can’t make time then move on. This year I will be more intentional about what I want, and whoever can’t fall in line then exit stage left.

6. Start a YouTube Channel

I have a channel that I started years ago, but I stopped uploading to it. I tried to recreate the magic again with a past boyfriend, but that went left very quickly. However, I’m going to revamp the channel that I started years ago. My new angle is around reviewing the things that I like such as Halloween, discussing the topics from this blog, rants, or other random things that are of interest. This channel will be an extension of my blog and vice versa. I believe this will be a great way to showcase my personality in the visual sense to the world. I’m going to implement a schedule within the next few months detailing the days that I will be posting videos.

7. Grow My Blog

I want this blog to grow to its fullest potential. For that to occur, I need to be more consistent with uploading content. I started to achieve this goal by planning out my blog topics for each month beforehand. I should have applied this method sooner as it is beneficial. I am just writing away as I know what I will be discussing. I need to draw more attention to my blog via social media as having an online presence is paramount for driving more traffic. I also plan on attending or creating speaking engagements as a way to draw more attention to this blog. This blog is fantastic and more people need to see what I have to offer. If there are any places that you know is looking for someone, please contact me and let me know.

8. Create an App

I want to create an app for Apple Store and Google Play. I have a few ideas which I don’t want to give away on here (shhh), but I have been teaching myself how to code in my downtime. I still have a lot of things to learn, but this has always been a passion project of mine. My mentor knows someone who works in the Technology space and app application is one of his expertise. I plan on networking with this person so I can learn more about this area and get my idea out to the market.

9. Finish my First Draft of my Graphic Novel

I have been working on this graphic novel even longer than my poetry book. Many people aren’t even aware that I had this novel in the works for years. I’m tired of not displaying my talent, and it’s time for this novel to reach the light of day. This draft will most likely take me the rest of the year to finish, but I’m determined to get it done. I plan on creating a list of items that I have left which will include deadlines for completion. Otherwise, this will never get done if I don’t create a project plan to complete this draft.

10. Attending More Horror Conventions

Attending more conventions is an easy goal as I’m the biggest horror fan ever! I already have one convention planned for this coming March and looking forward to more this year. There is another one in Dallas that I’m thinking about checking out in May while I’m there visiting a friend. Of course, I’ll be looking for more as I’m completely addicted to them. It’s like a candy store for a horror fan. It’s all the things you love in one place. What could beat that?

What are your goals for 2019 and how do you plan on executing them? How do you keep yourself motivated? Let’s help each other achieve our goals for this year!

The Effects of Ghosting

There was this guy I met over this past summer. We started to connect, and I thought there was a chance of a relationship growing. However, he ghosted me for 3-4 months, and I haven’t heard from him until Thanksgiving. The way he contacted me out of the blue was a bit confusing to me. I understand he was going through some personal issues and that contributed to him ghosting me. At the same time, it’s important to keep in contact as a lot can happen in short time frame. I went to fashion week, moved to a new apartment, visited Cuba for a vacation, and entered into a new relationship.  All of this occurred within the same 3-4 month time frame. I felt terrible because I was able to hear the disappointment within his voice. But this reminded me of why it’s important to stay in contact with people. If there is someone you are interested in don’t ghost them and expect them to be around later. People have lives and will move on when they see you are aren’t around. If you are experiencing something in life be honest about what’s going on. Give the other person chance, and they may still want relationship with you. Keep in mind that communication in any form calls, text,face time, email, etc. has to occur.  A lack of communication will have an impact on any potential relationship.

Most importantly if you do ghost someone don’t just show up as if nothing happened. Acknowledge that you went ghost, explain what occurred, and be open to whatever role that person has for you. For example, if they are involved, you will be just friends, maybe they still are interested in you, or they want nothing to do with you. Be understanding of what the person says and if it doesn’t work for you then move on. Proceed with caution if an option for a relationship is still on the table. Since this person went ghost the last time be sure, it was a one time thing and not daily occurrence. You don’t want to get in a situation and find out your committed,but not the other person isn’t. What are some of your ghosting stories? Did you date or dating someone that ghosted you at first? Rate, comment, and share!

I’m looking forward to reading your comments.

Until next time,

Improving Your Romantic Outlook

You should treat others the way you want them to treat you. If you want people to be honest with you, then you should do the same in return. If you don’t want to be hurt by others, then you shouldn’t do the same. It always amazes me how people are so quick to play the victim role but can’t accept the responsibility they play within their demise. For example, if I keep having bad relationships with men at some point, I need to reevaluate within myself why I keep attracting these type of men. I can make a general statement saying that all men are evil when it’s my horrible choices that are leading me to that conclusion. There is the segue to my topic of this blog post about continuously picking the wrong partners to date. I’m not calling anyone out as I have been guilty of it myself, but once you know better, you will do better. The first step of moving on from any situation is learning to treat the disease and not just the symptoms.

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The first thing I want you to consider is how you view yourself. Never mind how others feel about you but how do you feel about yourself? Do you put yourself down and call yourself terrible names? Understand that you are hurting yourself when you do this. Having negative thoughts about yourself can subconsciously be exuded externally and keep you from attracting the mate you want. Then others will start to feel the same way, and you will become less attractive as a result of that. Nothing is sexier than a person who has confidence within themselves and believes they are the best thing since sliced bread. I’m not saying be a jerk about it, but you have to have a strong sense of self if you want to attract someone of a higher caliber. You can’t believe you are worthless and then expect a potential suitor to think differently. Since self-esteem is an internal issue, you have to make sure you work through any of those issues before getting into a relationship. Nobody can correct this but you. Seek counseling if necessary but work through this immediately. The more broken relationships your experience, the more of a beating your self-esteem will take.

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As you grow within your career and personally your dating life should reflect that. Often we get comfortable within certain social circles because that is what we have always known. However, once you start to grow those areas that once interested you, unfortunately, do change. There’s nothing wrong with this, but nobody tells us nor prepares us for the transition to come. You most likely complain and I know I have about the lack of options out there. The conclusion I came up with is I’m looking for love in the same places I always have. The areas I’m frequenting I won’t find a professional man there so who is really to blame for my situation. You can’t do the same things you always did and expect a different result. You have to expand your options, and yes attend that networking event your friends have been trying to invite you to for months. You have to step outside your comfort zone if you want to meet Mrs. or Mr. Right.

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I hear people say and myself included that I want a man to drive XYZ and work within a particular field. Guess what? The things I was asking for I didn’t even have myself. It’s important to make sure the things you want in a partner are things you can provide as well. I think it’s unrealistic to demand your partner to a higher standard, but you don’t have the same demands on yourself. I took the time to soul-search and prepared myself for when my husband finally arrives. If the right person walked into the room right now would you be ready for that person? If you can’t honestly say yes, then you have work to do. It’s a corny saying, but you have to be the partner that you want. Remember everything you are looking for someone else wants the same. If you are unable to provide those same qualities, then you will continue to date the wrong people. Don’t look at your single hood as a bad thing. Use that time to self-reflect on becoming a better you. Once the right person comes along, you will be more than ready for your last relationship.

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Let me know your thoughts in the comment section below. Please share on social media and with your friends/family.

Until next time,

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Happier You

When you reach a certain age particularly in your thirties, you start to wonder where your life is going. Often you will question if the choices you made previously impact where you currently are. You have to realize that you made the best decisions you could at the time. You pray for the best and hope that if the worst comes that you deal with it the best way possible. I look at my personal life, and I wonder where precisely did I fail? I seem to have everything going right professionally but not so much in my romantic life. If I’m honest, I feel this way due to society and family pressure. I don’t think some of my family members realize how hurtful it feels to continually state where are my husband and children. It makes you feel like as a woman if you don’t have either then you have failed in life. I’m not saying I don’t want them, but it will happen in due time. It would be nice if some people in my life would understand that and support where I am currently.

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I still have so much traveling to do, and I’m currently working on living my best life. I haven’t done much of this in the past. I’m living, but I’m not living my life to the fullest. I’m becoming a complete bore with just working and going home. There is more to life than working and sitting around waiting for something or someone to come into my life. I decided I needed to start trying to keep myself busy. I kept myself busy by planning more activities and stop making excuses when I get invited out. Surely I won’t meet my future husband in the house, so I have to live a little to meet him. Comfortably being in a routine doesn’t allow for change to occur. You have to break the cycle to see growth and development. I started to break the habit by coming out of my shell by doing the things I enjoy more often. I began to spend more time with friends, working out again, getting back to my writing, planning vacations, and trying new activities such as painting.

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To be a great wife and mother, I need to be a happier person. Once I work on this then whomever I am supposed to be with will find me. I’m not going to rush a relationship because people around me feel that I should. Until that time comes, I am going to continue working on being a better me and having a more fulfilling life. The addition of a husband and children will aid in that happiness. The most important part is that I need to be happy beforehand. If I’m not open and willing for love to come into my life, then the things I’m looking for won’t happen. Get right within yourself before getting into a relationship and never stop improving on yourself once you are in one. Doing this will aid in the longevity of your relationship for years to come.

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Until next time,

Thkeya Life (1)

New Adventures with Friends

The weekend of March 9th was such a fantastic experience for me. Anyone who knows me will tell you that Halloween is my 2nd favorite holiday with my birthday being the 1st. I attended my first Monster Mania Convention that weekend! This event exceeded my wildest dreams and expectations. For starters, I got to meet the Mistress of the Dark herself, Elvira. Cassandra Peterson was out of her Elvira character. However, it was still nice to meet her. I was even having a conversation with one of the actors who played Jason, and I had no idea who he was. I’m sure he got a big kick out of that, and I was upset later as I was close enough to get a photo with him. The fact that I got to enjoy Halloween in March is the best feeling. I felt that I was entirely in my element as my affinity for the macabre was on full display. The stranger the better and being around folks who felt the same way I did made the experience even better. I also want to thank my best friend for tagging along with me. I was glad to share this experience with her even though horror isn’t her thing. She still was able to enjoy herself, and I was happy to show her another side of my wacky crazy personality.

I was delighted I was able to share this experience with my best friend, but honestly, this almost didn’t happen. I was content with going to the Monster Mania Convention on my own and experiencing this event with me, myself and I. After further deliberation I thought what would be the fun in that. The whole point of going to this type of activity is to experience it with someone. I was surprised that my best friend went as I stated before this wasn’t her thing. However, this reminded me that real friends would go to events with you just to spend time with you. Even if the outing isn’t to their liking, they will still attend. Just spending time with your friend no matter what you are doing will bring the friendship closer. Doing new activities together will ultimately help strengthen your bond as you start to learn more things about each other. I encourage all friendships to plan different events and step outside of your comfort zone. Not only will this help to improve your bond but you will learn something new about yourselves in the process.

The moral of my story is not to automatically assume that someone won’t attend a social gathering with you before you even ask. You may be presently surprised at the outcome that you receive. Of course, you should still participate in the activity even if others can’t attend but it will be more fun to experience it with friends. It may appear that your friends may not enjoy it, but it could turn out to be the most fun ever had. Never assume the answer will be no and just ask that person and people anyway. I almost missed out on this opportunity with my best friend, and we both had a fantastic time. Life has a funny way of proving to you that looks aren’t always what they seem. Stop assuming, grow a little and ask your friends to attend that place you wanted to visit.

 

Here’s a picture of me with my best friend and Elvira

Keya Jess & Elvira

Haters Disguise as Friends

People who claim to be your friend but who are really jealous of you behind the screen.

It is true that as you age your friendships will begin to evolve. Some people that you were once close to may not even be your friends in a few years. Then other people who were mere acquittances may become close like family. I remember hearing this would occur when I was younger by many relatives, and it wasn’t until recently that I realized how true this statement is. An old friend of mine recently accused me of changing into a new person. The thought of her accusation is baffling to me as I believe that becoming a better person is a beautiful thing.  Anyway, she reminded me of how in the past I was ill-tempered and easily angered. I acted this way because people viewed me as a bit of a push-over. You shouldn’t allow yourself to be a push-over, but there are better ways to handle yourself in stressful situations. I haven’t always dealt with issues in the most favorable light. I knew I needed to change this about myself and I worked on it. I thought my old friend would be happy to see my growth and be proud of the woman I became. Instead, the reaction that I received was that I became a counterfeit of my former self. At that moment I knew that my friendship with her had run its course. There is no way I could continue on my current journey with her still in my life. We have become two different people, and our current paths no longer intersect.

Every day you should be growing and learning continuously. The people in your life should hopefully, be doing the same thing. Don’t tolerate your friends’ judgments if they feel as if you are growing and leaving them behind. At that moment realize that these people are only in your life for a season. Once their season is up, please let them go! You will hurt yourself trying to keep people in your life who no longer should be there. Being the same person you were years ago sounds like a miserable existence. I understand being comfortable, but at some point, you need to elevate yourself. Of course, growing should be done gradually to ensure that not only can you keep your momentum going, but your development will continue. Telling someone that they changed and it was for the better is such an asinine statement, and people like that don’t deserve to be apart of your “Glow-Up.”

Another issue I experienced with this same “friend” is passive aggressiveness. I don’t have any problems with speaking my mind. I would dare to say that my openness has gotten me into trouble in the past. That was something that I knew I had to work on and I made a conscious effort to think before I speak. It hasn’t always worked out flawlessly. However, I am a work in progress. Please excuse the sidebar and let me get back to the point I was making. If you have a dispute with what a friend did or said then, please speak up about it. Don’t pretend to have moved on from the situation if all you will do is turn petty later on. Here are some examples of being petty, backhanded comments, doing a favor but complaining the whole time and my all time favorite getting upset when someone can’t drop their whole life for you.

The last example of pettiness I just experienced recently by this same “friend.” I was planning on a special Valentine’s Day with that special guy in my life. I wasn’t sure at the time which weekend he wanted to celebrate since the holiday falls on a weekday this year. I stated to her let me get back to you, and once I find out, I’ll let you know if I could attend your event. She was very dismissive of me and stated nevermind forget I even asked. This type of behavior is entirely unacceptable for an adult to act and the passive aggressiveness is beyond ridiculous. If you ever find yourself behaving like this just speak to the person that is causing you heartache. If that person genuinely cares about you, then both of you should be able to work through the situation like adults.

If you have friends in your life that get upset every time you try to express yourself, then you need to get new friends. Real friends will not dismiss your feelings, and they will make an effort in correcting the behavior. When people care about you, the last thing they want is for you to feel any hurt or pain. Please let me reiterate if you are currently dealing with people like this in your life let these people go. These type of people will do nothing but bring you down and then accuse you of being the negative person. Get rid of these toxic people in your life, and you’ll thank me later.

Until next time,

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