career – Thkeya's Reflections on Life

Quarantine Life Part 2: Glow Up

With all the time we have to think and focus on what’s to come. Now is the best time to work on the things you’ve been putting off. There’s only so much television, social media, and phone conversations you can have. At some point, you have to take action. While everyone else is focusing on mundane things, you can be working on your glow up. Yes, there is no time like the present. I was moping around complaining about what I’m going to do? There’s only so much working and Netflix I can take. Besides the fact of being alive (Thank God), I have too much free time to waste. I’m not bashing anyone who may feel that surviving is good enough for them. I hope nobody feels slighted or ridiculed in any way. This post is for those people who want to glow up and need an extra incentive to do so.

Fitness

I’ve been talking about wanting to work out again for a while. I felt the pounds coming on, and I was over it! Through the power of the Internet (via Facebook), my former boot camp coach contacted me after reading my comment about exercising. It started as a 21-day calorie quarantine crusher challenge. I’m currently on the 21-day 2.0 version, and this week I started the healthy living portion of the program. I’m addicted to working out again in a short amount of time. I’ve continuously been exercising since April 6th. I lost 4 inches so far, and I can’t believe how strong I’m becoming. I’m pushing myself like I never have before. I have more motivation behind why I’m taking this fitness journey seriously this time around. I may or may not share some time in the future. My main point is to set a realistic goal of getting into shape, and you’ll become addicted as well. Fitness has helped to improve my mood, which brings me to my next point of self-care.

Self-Care

I speak about therapy often on this blog, so there’s no surprise why it’s apart of this post. Mental health issues are skyrocketing during this time. The self-isolation alone is enough to drive anyone crazy. Be sure to check in with yourself daily. Whether you decide to seek therapy or not, you need to have an outlet. The self-isolation isn’t the time to hold your emotions in as it can have dire consequences. You can journal as well if you don’t feel comfortable sharing with others. Anything to express how you feel will do wonders. The main point is to get rid of those negative thoughts in your head. Be careful how you speak to yourself and what you allow yourself to hear. Negative talk can seep into your brain and get into your sub-conscience. Then ultimately, it will manifest into disruptive behaviors. Now is a perfect time to work on self-care if that’s an area that needs improvement. You have loads of time to practice, so get to it!

Career

I wrote a few posts back about my plans to get a new job this year. I started the process, but so far it hasn’t panned out. Rejection is redirection into an area I need to be. I began to look inward at my network for a job as I would like to have a regression proof career. That regardless of what’s going on in the world, I would still be able to support myself. I had two informational interviews so far, and I’m currently working on the third. I struggled to try to secure these networking opportunities before coronavirus, but now it’s happening—the exact definition of a blessing in disguise. Based on the feedback I received, I need to get additional training under my belt to aid in securing a new job. It will show future employers that I’m capable and ready for the new role. I know which training I need to take because it’s what’s required/most requested. This information is critical because, without these informational interviews, I wouldn’t have known. When the next job prospects come along, I’ll be more prepared. My biggest takeaway was if I want to get to the next level, then utilize my network. You never know who someone knows or how that one interaction can bring you closer to your dreams.

Finances

It is sad to hear on the news about the unemployment numbers. I’m grateful I can work from home and still receive a paycheck. The quarantine shed light for me about how I need to create a better financial safety net for myself. As the old saying goes, if you stay ready, you don’t have to get ready. I recently checked my 401(k) to see when the last time I re-balanced it. (If you aren’t familiar with the term, research it.) That is something that you should check periodically. You have to change your elections to receive the maximum benefit. Any safety net you create has to be under constant review. The safety nets include (in addition to 401(k)) Roth IRA, savings account, CD, stocks and bonds, 529 plans, Simple IRA, SEP IRA, traditional IRA, and Roth 401(k) to name a few. I’m not trying to provide any financial advice. This information is provided strictly as informational, and it’s up to you to decide what’s best for you and your family. Having these safety nets removes the worry about what will happen in the event of an economic downturn. Even if you aren’t in a position to participate now, you can still learn for later use. The more you know, the more informed financial decisions you can make in the future.

Your idea of glowing up can be completely different from mine, but you get the picture. It is a blessing to have this much free time on your heads. You can concentrate on all the things that you swept under the rug. Glowing up isn’t limited to clothing/appearance (I have purchased new clothes, so stay tuned world) but about what you’re feeding your mind and soul. I’m going to leave you with a quote my fitness coach told me. “If you don’t feel like doing something, then now is the best time to start.” I couldn’t have said it any better myself. Now go out there and glow up like a diamond!

Don’t forget to check out the discussion question before you go, and I’ll see you in the next post.

How do you plan on glowing up during this quarantine?

Career Advancement

access-adult-african-american-woman-business-1181335

I’m at a crossroads currently within my career. I want to move to the next level but unsure of how to get there. My current team doesn’t have any job opportunities at the moment. That is furthering my confusion on the next steps that I should take. I had to sit with myself to come up with solutions to improve my current situation. I came up with a list of four things that I employed right now to help improve my career prospects. I hope that this list works for you, or in the comment section below, you can tell me what tips you will use or which ones you currently use.

Hire a Career Coach

beautiful-businesswomen-career-caucasian-601170

Hiring a career coach may or may not work for everyone, but it was a game-changer for me. It has been years since I last applied for positions. I wasn’t sure what employers were looking for in terms of a resume. I needed help updating my resume properly, interviewing skills, job searches, and working on past issues that could impact me from getting hired (confidence & mental health issues). A lot has changed since I last interviewed, and the knowledge that I gained was a tremendous help. My resume look 100% times better. That reminds me that I need to make an update to my Linkedln page to reflect the recent changes I made. I started going on job interviews. I haven’t gotten the jobs that I’ve wanted, but I’m making significant progress. I know the right position will come along, but in the meantime, I won’t stop looking for the next opportunity.

Updated My Wardrobe

woman-sitting-on-chair-while-leaning-on-table-871494

You know what they say dress for success or dress for the job you want. Making new tweaks to my clothes not only empowered me gave me new-found confidence but also people took me more seriously. Let’s be honest people judge your appearance. Based on your clothes, if you don’t look presentable, then you’re perceived as unreliable and disingenuous. As superficial as it sounds, if you don’t dress the part, then you won’t get the part. With that in mind, don’t give anyone any reason to use anything against you. There are plenty of budget-friendly places you can use to update your wardrobe as necessary.

Invest in Yourself

bitcoins-and-u-s-dollar-bills-730547

I started to educate myself while reading more books and looking into certifications to further my career. One book that helped me the most is called ” 7 Healthy Habits of Highly Effective People.” I realized that I needed to make myself better for this next chapter in my life. I need to work on my time management skills and setting my goals/expectations more effectively. If you need more information on this, there’s so much information available at your fingertips. There’s no excuse for working yourself to exhaustion when you could be bettering yourself in the process. Don’t be afraid to change things about yourself that may be holding you back. We all have to be continually improving ourselves as that’s what’s going to help us win.

Ask for Honest Feedback

two-woman-chatting-1311518

I understand that harsh criticism from others can be triggering. However, if we don’t receive honest feedback, we won’t be able to make adjustments. For example, the feedback I received over a year ago from a review stated I needed to work on my tone when I would speak with people at work. Unfortunately, microaggression is a real thing (research that if you aren’t familiar with the term), so when someone who looks like me says something that can appear aggressive, it’s out of context. If I were a man, it would be an utterly different story. I realized this could be holding me back from moving forward. It took a year to work on this, but I’m pleased to report that in my latest review, my efforts paid off. It was a good feeling to know that my hard work was acknowledged. Had I not asked for the feedback, I would’ve still been doing something wrong. Behind close doors, that would’ve been the reason for me not to achieve a promotion. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but doing the work on the back end is the difference between advancement vs. stagnation. You want to put your best foot forward, and you need to know if anything is preventing that from occurring.

Let’s get the discussion going. Let me know in the comment section below what your thoughts are. What steps will you take, or what steps have you taken to make improvements?

time-for-change-sign-with-led-light-2277784

My Thoughts on Jussie Smollett

I was wrestling back and forth about writing about this Jussie Smollett fiasco. I’m not sure if he did this to bring attention to a cause or if he’s a pathological liar. This story has lasting damaging effects that we haven’t even begin to scratch the surface. Whatever he believed he was doing set the movement back. Some may disagree, but I feel he made it harder for victims of assault in the future. Everyone will start to side eye victims going forward. Jussie will forever be someone who elaborately lies. The new slogan will be, please don’t “Jussie Smollett” us with your story. It’s very frustrating hearing stories like this because you want to believe the victims. At the same time, you have to be skeptical of the story. Some folks lie to provoke a particular agenda further. Unfortunately, there are hate crimes and assault cases happening every day. There’s no need to make up a story. Lying about an attack that didn’t occur impacts current, future and cold cases. Time and resources are moving away from solving actual crimes to a fabricated crime. Detectives may even expect for the victim to provide the burden of proof before they investigate an alleged attack. Thanks to Jussie solving these types of cases just became more difficult.

I can’t believe that Jussie would go to these great lengths to prove a point. You’re upset that the threatening letter you received didn’t garner the attention you felt it deserved. That doesn’t mean you orchestrate an attack to get more attention. You should’ve gone to law enforcement to report the incident. You could’ve used this an opportunity to have a teachable moment. You completely missed the mark on this one. With your notoriety and celebrity status, you could’ve drawn more attention to a serious topic that is plaguing many people. You could’ve put together a PSA with other victims of assault to bring more awareness to a significant issue that is impacting people of color and the LGBTQ communities. However, to file a false police report is beyond ridiculous. Now you have been charged with filing a false police report and disorderly conduct which is a class four felony. If convicted this carries a one to a three-year jail sentence. Your credibility is nonexistent, and your career is definitely in jeopardy. Who knows maybe you’ll pull a Winona Ryder and make a comeback. It took her a long time to come back after her shoplifting scandal. Honestly, I still feel like her career hasn’t been the same since then, but she was able to turn things around.

Jussie you need to hire someone who specializes in crisis management because you need all the help in the world to deal with the drama you caused. Let this be a cautionary tale to everyone out there. When you start one lie, then you have to tell several more to keep it going. You eventually go down a rabbit hole, and it becomes harder to get yourself out of it. Remember if you tell the truth you don’t need to remember what was said or happened. When something happens to you, and you don’t get the attention you want don’t go to this extreme. Seek help from friends, family, therapist, pastor or a trusted individual. Going to extraordinary lengths of an elaborate falsehood isn’t the way to go. You will be causing more unforeseen damage than you realize.

Let me know your thoughts on the Jussie Smollett case. Did you believe or disbelieve the story from the beginning? Do you think this story has negatively impacted victims of assault?

Top 10 Goals for 2019

I think it’s important to not only discuss your goals but have a plan to execute them as well. A goal without a plan is a wish as the saying states. To keep me honest I felt that I would utilize this post to detail my top goals for 2019. I thought that I would not only list out my goals but how I plan to execute them as well. I will keep you posted on my progress throughout the year. Please call me out as well if I don’t mention any of my goals after this post. I need to be accountable if I’m going to accomplish them. Also, knowing that other people are reading this is giving me even more motivation. We all need that extra push and seeing this in plain black and white is a great motivator.

My goals for the year are:

1. Travel More

Last year I stated that I would travel once a quarter. I achieved just that, and I would like to continue that into 2019. I accomplished this goal by having a travel fund and adding it into my budget to save money for my travel activities. I will continue to plan out all my travel activities to ensure that I have adequate funds to participate.

2. Purchase Real Estate

I know at first this sounds like I mean home, townhouse, or condo. That would be nice, but that’s not what I’m going to have. I want to open my own business. Being an entrepreneur is something that I have discussed for the longest, and this will finally be my year to accomplish this goal. I want to purchase a building to start my financial service business. I want to teach others in my community how to manage their money, learn more about stocks/bonds, retirement and credit solutions. I want others to be more financially independent as a way to generate wealth. The way to break the curse of poverty is by creating wealth through real estate. I saw a video by a CPA that stated that the way to generate wealth is via the tax code. That is how many people pay less in taxes and create equity. To achieve this, you would need to be knowledgeable and having your credit/savings in order. In the next few months, I am going to reach out to a realtor to help with finding the right place for my business.

3. Publish my Poetry Book

I have been working on this book for as long as I could remember. I’m sure my friends are tired of me talking about this book and are ready to read it already. I will be granting your wishes as 2019 is the year for this book to see the light of day. I will be self-publishing the book which I am very nervous about since I have no idea what to expect. I have to make sure every detail down to the cover looks perfect. I can’t wait for everyone to see the finished product as I’m so proud to show it off. Look out for my book later this year at an Amazon near you.

4. Start a New Job

I have been at my current employer for nine years well ten this year, and it’s time for a change. One thing that worries me is getting stagnant staying at one place too long. At this point, I feel like I have plateaued in my current team. I still have things that I can contribute however I’m not learning nor growing anymore. I have overstayed my welcome, and it’s time to move on to greener (hopefully) pastures. I have been comfortable for so long, and that is the reason why I stayed. Therefore, it’s time to step outside of my comfy zone and look forward to looking for a new role. I will start applying for a job internally and post my resume on LinkedIn to get eyes to my talents.

5. Fall in Love (Fingers crossed)

My love life is on my list every year and every year I fail miserably. This time I am saying no more, and I am going to make a considerable effort to make sure it happens. One of the issues that I have is not dating with a purpose. I’ll state what I want, but I don’t follow through with it. For example, I want someone who is ready and will make time for a relationship. Then the guy will give a sob story, and I’ll forgive them for nonsense. I don’t listen to my gut when I notice red flags but brush it off as if I’m overreacting. I am not and if that guy can’t make time then move on. This year I will be more intentional about what I want, and whoever can’t fall in line then exit stage left.

6. Start a YouTube Channel

I have a channel that I started years ago, but I stopped uploading to it. I tried to recreate the magic again with a past boyfriend, but that went left very quickly. However, I’m going to revamp the channel that I started years ago. My new angle is around reviewing the things that I like such as Halloween, discussing the topics from this blog, rants, or other random things that are of interest. This channel will be an extension of my blog and vice versa. I believe this will be a great way to showcase my personality in the visual sense to the world. I’m going to implement a schedule within the next few months detailing the days that I will be posting videos.

7. Grow My Blog

I want this blog to grow to its fullest potential. For that to occur, I need to be more consistent with uploading content. I started to achieve this goal by planning out my blog topics for each month beforehand. I should have applied this method sooner as it is beneficial. I am just writing away as I know what I will be discussing. I need to draw more attention to my blog via social media as having an online presence is paramount for driving more traffic. I also plan on attending or creating speaking engagements as a way to draw more attention to this blog. This blog is fantastic and more people need to see what I have to offer. If there are any places that you know is looking for someone, please contact me and let me know.

8. Create an App

I want to create an app for Apple Store and Google Play. I have a few ideas which I don’t want to give away on here (shhh), but I have been teaching myself how to code in my downtime. I still have a lot of things to learn, but this has always been a passion project of mine. My mentor knows someone who works in the Technology space and app application is one of his expertise. I plan on networking with this person so I can learn more about this area and get my idea out to the market.

9. Finish my First Draft of my Graphic Novel

I have been working on this graphic novel even longer than my poetry book. Many people aren’t even aware that I had this novel in the works for years. I’m tired of not displaying my talent, and it’s time for this novel to reach the light of day. This draft will most likely take me the rest of the year to finish, but I’m determined to get it done. I plan on creating a list of items that I have left which will include deadlines for completion. Otherwise, this will never get done if I don’t create a project plan to complete this draft.

10. Attending More Horror Conventions

Attending more conventions is an easy goal as I’m the biggest horror fan ever! I already have one convention planned for this coming March and looking forward to more this year. There is another one in Dallas that I’m thinking about checking out in May while I’m there visiting a friend. Of course, I’ll be looking for more as I’m completely addicted to them. It’s like a candy store for a horror fan. It’s all the things you love in one place. What could beat that?

What are your goals for 2019 and how do you plan on executing them? How do you keep yourself motivated? Let’s help each other achieve our goals for this year!

New Year, New Beginnings

What a ride 2018 was for me and I’m sure for many of you as well. As I look back on the past year, I made a lot of strides both personally and professionally. I started a new job which next month will make it a year within the role. My blog is turning one year old next week. I traveled to four different places. I met new and old friends along my journey throughout the year. I further my love for horror by attending three horror conventions. As humans, we tend to focus on the negative and completely negate the positives that have occurred. One thing, in particular, is how much I’ve grown throughout the year. I first started this blog as a way for me to help others by sharing similar situations and feelings. Little did I know that the person who would benefit the most would be me. I learned so much about myself through this journey of being a blogger for a year. I learned that to be successful; I would have to open myself up to how and why I’m at this point in my life. There were things that I allowed to hold me back from accomplishing my goals. I had to go through a self-discovery where I had to look myself in the mirror and be honest. I had things about myself that I didn’t like and I needed to correct. I’m still a work in progress, but the most important part is that I’m working on making the necessary changes.

Instead of waiting for the “New Year.” I started to implement those changes before the start of 2019. It was the best decision I ever made. It’s not perfect by any means, and unfortunately, I do fall short here and there. The critical piece to remember is to continue to try your best at whatever you are doing. Obstacles will come your way but keep it moving as not to derail your purpose. Keep your eye on the prize and never forget the reason why you are going for the gold. The difference between the person who goes after their goals and the person who doesn’t is all about willpower. Mental willpower to be exact. Mentally you will have to push through as there will be times when you will want to give up. There will be times when you are tired, unmotivated, uninspired, and don’t want to do it. Those are the times when your mental willpower will have to kick into overdrive. We are human, and of course, you may want a break. However, taking a break can turn into a few days, weeks, months, and then years. You don’t want time to pass by, and you are still waiting for “next year” to achieve your goals.

The power of the mind is mighty as well as the power of the tongue. Think it and then speak it into existence. You manifest what you get in life. It sounds insane to say that your mind is powerful, but it’s a very true statement. If you think and speak negatively, that will consume your life, and that’s all that you will become. Change your mindset towards a more favorable outcome, and you will yield different results. Manifest what you precisely want and watch it blossom. Nothing good will come unless you believe it first. Cheers to 2019 and to all the wonderful blessings to come!

Until next time,

The Price of Motherhood

During this past week, Cardi B announced her pregnancy with her first child. Congratulations to her as babies are an incredible blessing. The comments that I kept seeing online were appalling to me. Many people were saying that it’s too early in her career to have a child and others were saying that her career will fail once she gives birth. These comments sadden me as comments such as these are never told to men when they become fathers. A man’s career, as well as his life, isn’t impacted at all when becoming a father. In fact, children are not only seen as a blessing but as a way for a man to mature as well. I believe the way that society views men are the reason why their lives don’t change when they become fathers. A man is supposed to be a provider, and if that role is lacking, then he is seen as a deadbeat. Whereas if women have a career and aren’t home, she is looked down upon as an awful mother. Therefore, this way of thinking reinforces the view that women should be in the house with the children. There is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom. However, women shouldn’t be made to feel that still pursuing a career after a baby is wrong to continue.

Due to societal woes and what family may say many women will put their family plans on hold for their careers. I am one of those women as I keep waiting for a perfect time to start a family. I want to make sure that I won’t be an absentee parent. Another major factor is the financial aspect as it is very costly to raise a family. Then you want to be in a two-parent household as it’s essential to raise a child with both parents. The list goes on with how many reasons I could come up with for the waiting game to continue. Of course, waiting too long comes with its own set of challenges, but that’s another post for another day. My main point here is that women feel the need to compartmentalize their entire lives before starting the family. There are no issues with that, but one must recognize that life doesn’t fit neatly in a little box. One must be flexible as life takes on many shapes and sizes. You have to be able to roll with the punches and have faith that everything will work out. If things don’t work out as planned, you will figure out what needs to occur to get you back on track.

What I learned from this Cardi B situation is that there is no right time to do anything. Honestly, if you are waiting for a proper time, you will be waiting forever. Yes, there may be an ideal time to do something, but the way life goes who knows when that will happen. If you are ready to start having your family, then go for it. Others may feel that you are making the wrong decision, but it’s yours to make. Also, don’t believe that you have to give up your hopes and dreams just because you are a mother. Children are a blessing and not a burden. Children can be a great motivator and will energize a woman to work even harder to support her family. Salute to all the women out there who are working hard to take care of their children while still pursuing their dreams. I am proud of you and continue to shine on all these haters out there. Your motherhood is a strength and not a weakness. View motherhood as another form of representation of you but not all that you can do.

Until next time,

Thkeya Life (1)

Being Present in Dating

I always felt as if I put my career before my love life. Not on purpose but this took up space in my life when other things were missing. Then at one point, I was pursuing my Master’s degree while working full time. I tried my best to date, but I didn’t have much time to dedicate to developing a relationship. Instead, I turned to dating emotionally unavailable men as a short time solution to having companionship. Of course, this is not to say this was the best option but this is all I could commit to at the time. Now I’m starting to notice that despite the change in job title my dating life stayed the same. I am currently in a better position to date. However, I am still running into emotionally unavailable men. I am upset that this keeps occurring as I’m ready for a more meaningful relationship. For the first time, I am looking at myself to examine this issue. The only thing that these men have in common is me, and I have to look at myself to figure out what I’m exuding to the world. I don’t like the current picture, so I have to change the channel so to speak.

I have to change my current behavior if I want to experience better results. For example, due to my work schedule from a few years ago to just a month ago, I was only able to dedicate about two days a week to a relationship. To develop the type of relationship I want more time is needed to care and nurture it. In the past, due to work obligations, I wasn’t able to accomplish more than this. However, this is no longer the case and my attitude towards being present needs to be updated. I’m currently struggling to be more available and open to letting someone in my life. All this time I thought I was open when it was a façade that was coming across. You can’t just say the words, “I’m available” but you have to be open and willing to let love into your space. Nobody wants to feel as if they are wasting time while dating you. If you are unable to make the time, then you can’t expect someone to stick around waiting for you.

My ultimate goal is to not only have a lasting relationship but a deep one as well. I’m looking forward to the day of sharing my life with my husband and children. Before I get to that aspiration of mine, I must realize I am my own biggest obstacle. I have to be more open and ready for love to come my way. Due to past hurt, this has been challenging, but since real love is what I’m looking for, I have to put those fears to the side. I can’t let my fear of the unknown keep me from love. If you are the opposite of the type of mate you are seeking, then you will stay in a constant cycle of confusion. Be ready, open, and willing to let that special someone in your life. You never know what may happen and the person of your dreams will be prepared to love when you are. Hurry up you don’t want to keep them waiting any longer.

Until next time,

keya's life-001

Living to the Beat of Your own Drum

I was sick this past week, so I had a lot of time to think while I was recovering. I wonder why people are very concerned with other people’s lives. I mean in the sense that a person isn’t living their life according to society’s standards. For example, once a woman enters her thirties if she isn’t married with children she is shunned by other people. It doesn’t matter where the displeasure comes from. It could be either from romantic prospects, family, friends, or even complete strangers. It’s like you are constantly being judged based off how your life is going at the moment. Maybe you planned on being married with children at some point, and it hasn’t occurred yet. Nobody knows what specifically is going on in your life, and it is best not to speculate. Please allow people to live their lives on their own terms.

I have been told that my downfall in my romantic life has been due to my career. That I chose my career over focusing on romance in my life; which is not the case at all. I had relationships throughout my career, which didn’t work out as I hoped. This gave the impression that marriage was something that I didn’t want. Being that my career is in the IT field; it has made it difficult to date. Most romantic prospects have an issue with my work schedule. The men I came in contact with in the past complained that they couldn’t be spontaneous with me nor plan dates. I tried the best that I could to make my schedule be as flexible as possible; however, those efforts didn’t seem to be acknowledged. I lucked out now, and I found someone who completely understands my crazy schedule. He has the same issue, so this is something that we are both working through. With patience, we can really see where things will grow and lead to.

Another question I get asked a lot is when I will purchase a home. For the life of me, I don’t understand why people think I don’t want to purchase a home. Seriously, I would’ve purchased a home already if I could. Not only is a down payment needed for a home, but there is a massive amount of upkeep that is required. I don’t have the necessary funds that I’m comfortable with to become a homeowner. Also, I would really like to purchase a home with my husband as we prepare to start a family. This is a dream of mine, and I hope it turns out that way. If not, at the very least I need to be in a better financial standing to support a home. Being a homeowner on one income is extremely difficult to maintain. I would like to have multiple strings of income coming in to support all of my future endeavors before purchasing a home.

There is the timetable that society has and then there is the one that life has. The old adage goes, “Man plans and God laughs.” You may plan for things to go one way and life takes you down a rabbit hole. After you go through the twist and turns of life; you just have to deal with the cards you are dealt. However, this doesn’t mean that you stop living your life when things occur out of the order you anticipated. Don’t allow what other people feel you should do dictate what occurs in your life. You can still get married, have children, get a stable career, have financial security, and purchase a home well into your thirties. You are not a failure if you achieve these things later in your life. Also, don’t feel pressure to hurry up and start knocking these items off your list. That could, unfortunately, have dire consequences. It is best to allow things to happen when they are supposed to. Until the time comes, enjoy your life and live it to the fullest. You want to be ready for marriage, and a family instead of wishing to relive your previous life.