Quarantine Life Part 1: Relationships

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I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted here. It’s been a lot trying to get through the current stay at home order. I’ve observed something about relationships during this quarantine life. I’m going to write a three-part series, including this post about my direct and indirect experiences that the quarantine life has impacted. I was in a relationship before this coronavirus changed our lives drastically. Once the stay at home order started my relationship eventually changed. I let him stay with me (in hindsight, that was a bad idea)for three weeks. Honestly, I learned an infinite amount about myself into two categories, what I did well and what needs improvement. I realized within those three weeks how incompatible we were. He was happy as he got everything he wanted, but my needs not so much.

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There were red flags that kept coming up that I tried to look past. Let’s say something came up that I couldn’t ignore anymore. With the help of the quarantine, it allowed us to speed things up and notice that we weren’t right for each other. No love lost as you live and learn. The pro to this situation is that it saved me heartache later on. I discovered this information in less than two months as opposed to four/five months down the line. That sounds like a blessing to me. I’ve never lived with a man before, so that was a significant growing pain for me. I have to be with someone I’m compatible with, as it will be much easier to compromise within a relationship. When you’re with someone, you have a deep connection with compromising will come naturally. Unfortunately, my newfound relationship was short lived. I gained knowledge that now I know the changes I’m making are in the right direction. Now I need to find someone I’m more connected with, and that will be my last relationship (God willing!).

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I notice that relationships are taking a toll during this time as well. I heard my neighbors arguing across the hall the other week. I never want to be in a relationship like that. The way the woman was yelling at her boyfriend, I thought I was in trouble. Sorry not sorry, but if someone can yell at you, then it’s time to go. I always believed that if someone could yell, then they can raise their hand to you. I don’t have time for either situation, so I’m out, no, thank you. I can see why domestic violence is going up if this is the situation folks are experiencing. I know a few people who’s relationships have ended due to the quarantine. I guess their relationship couldn’t handle the proximity to each other. That’s something I don’t understand either. If you’re with someone you can’t stand, then how did the relationship occur? The new criteria to add to your dating questionnaire is, can you be quarantine with this person? If the answer is no, then keep it moving. You’re going to be spending massive amounts of time with this person, so you should want to be around them.

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Stop getting into relationships with people you only spent limited amount of time getting to know. I have a few coworkers who were complaining about not being back at work. I asked them why, and the response was they couldn’t stand their spouse. Again I’m confused as to why a person would marry someone they don’t like. The quarantine life is going to show different aspects of a relationship. Either it’s stable, and this situation will only make things healthier, or the relationship will be coming apart at the seams. Of course, this time will be difficult on everyone, and it’s essential to be with someone who will help you through this event. I suffer from anxiety, and while I was still in my relationship, it took a beating. It was something about that relationship that was bothering my spirit. God has a way of telling us things if we would only listen. It took me going through that rough patch to realize it was time to move on. Better late than never as it could’ve been worst.

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Being in the home 24/7 is an emotional blow to anyone, particularly those who suffer from mental health issues. My anxiety was through the roof for the first few weeks of the stay at home order. I would have panic attacks, and I had trouble sleeping. What has been a tremendous help to me is exercising, yoga, meditation, reading, writing, virtual happy hours, and my all-time favorite therapy. There are so many other things you could be doing during this time. I’m sure there is something you want to do that you’ve been putting off. Now is the perfect time as any to focus on those goals that have been on the back burner. The bright side of this is that it will give you something else to discuss. Talking about the same thing over and over becomes tedious, especially during this time. Bringing something else to the table will break up the monotony. Let’s try something different since you don’t have anything better to do. You mind as well be more constructive with your time. I saw someone who made a dress and put braids in her hair, thanks to YouTube University. Be creative and Glow Up! By the way, that’s the title of the second part of this series.

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Don’t forget to get involved in the discussion questions below:

Has the quarantine impacted your relationships in a positive or negative light?
What steps are you taking to help keep yourself sane during this time?

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Top 10 Goals for 2019

I think it’s important to not only discuss your goals but have a plan to execute them as well. A goal without a plan is a wish as the saying states. To keep me honest I felt that I would utilize this post to detail my top goals for 2019. I thought that I would not only list out my goals but how I plan to execute them as well. I will keep you posted on my progress throughout the year. Please call me out as well if I don’t mention any of my goals after this post. I need to be accountable if I’m going to accomplish them. Also, knowing that other people are reading this is giving me even more motivation. We all need that extra push and seeing this in plain black and white is a great motivator.

My goals for the year are:

1. Travel More

Last year I stated that I would travel once a quarter. I achieved just that, and I would like to continue that into 2019. I accomplished this goal by having a travel fund and adding it into my budget to save money for my travel activities. I will continue to plan out all my travel activities to ensure that I have adequate funds to participate.

2. Purchase Real Estate

I know at first this sounds like I mean home, townhouse, or condo. That would be nice, but that’s not what I’m going to have. I want to open my own business. Being an entrepreneur is something that I have discussed for the longest, and this will finally be my year to accomplish this goal. I want to purchase a building to start my financial service business. I want to teach others in my community how to manage their money, learn more about stocks/bonds, retirement and credit solutions. I want others to be more financially independent as a way to generate wealth. The way to break the curse of poverty is by creating wealth through real estate. I saw a video by a CPA that stated that the way to generate wealth is via the tax code. That is how many people pay less in taxes and create equity. To achieve this, you would need to be knowledgeable and having your credit/savings in order. In the next few months, I am going to reach out to a realtor to help with finding the right place for my business.

3. Publish my Poetry Book

I have been working on this book for as long as I could remember. I’m sure my friends are tired of me talking about this book and are ready to read it already. I will be granting your wishes as 2019 is the year for this book to see the light of day. I will be self-publishing the book which I am very nervous about since I have no idea what to expect. I have to make sure every detail down to the cover looks perfect. I can’t wait for everyone to see the finished product as I’m so proud to show it off. Look out for my book later this year at an Amazon near you.

4. Start a New Job

I have been at my current employer for nine years well ten this year, and it’s time for a change. One thing that worries me is getting stagnant staying at one place too long. At this point, I feel like I have plateaued in my current team. I still have things that I can contribute however I’m not learning nor growing anymore. I have overstayed my welcome, and it’s time to move on to greener (hopefully) pastures. I have been comfortable for so long, and that is the reason why I stayed. Therefore, it’s time to step outside of my comfy zone and look forward to looking for a new role. I will start applying for a job internally and post my resume on LinkedIn to get eyes to my talents.

5. Fall in Love (Fingers crossed)

My love life is on my list every year and every year I fail miserably. This time I am saying no more, and I am going to make a considerable effort to make sure it happens. One of the issues that I have is not dating with a purpose. I’ll state what I want, but I don’t follow through with it. For example, I want someone who is ready and will make time for a relationship. Then the guy will give a sob story, and I’ll forgive them for nonsense. I don’t listen to my gut when I notice red flags but brush it off as if I’m overreacting. I am not and if that guy can’t make time then move on. This year I will be more intentional about what I want, and whoever can’t fall in line then exit stage left.

6. Start a YouTube Channel

I have a channel that I started years ago, but I stopped uploading to it. I tried to recreate the magic again with a past boyfriend, but that went left very quickly. However, I’m going to revamp the channel that I started years ago. My new angle is around reviewing the things that I like such as Halloween, discussing the topics from this blog, rants, or other random things that are of interest. This channel will be an extension of my blog and vice versa. I believe this will be a great way to showcase my personality in the visual sense to the world. I’m going to implement a schedule within the next few months detailing the days that I will be posting videos.

7. Grow My Blog

I want this blog to grow to its fullest potential. For that to occur, I need to be more consistent with uploading content. I started to achieve this goal by planning out my blog topics for each month beforehand. I should have applied this method sooner as it is beneficial. I am just writing away as I know what I will be discussing. I need to draw more attention to my blog via social media as having an online presence is paramount for driving more traffic. I also plan on attending or creating speaking engagements as a way to draw more attention to this blog. This blog is fantastic and more people need to see what I have to offer. If there are any places that you know is looking for someone, please contact me and let me know.

8. Create an App

I want to create an app for Apple Store and Google Play. I have a few ideas which I don’t want to give away on here (shhh), but I have been teaching myself how to code in my downtime. I still have a lot of things to learn, but this has always been a passion project of mine. My mentor knows someone who works in the Technology space and app application is one of his expertise. I plan on networking with this person so I can learn more about this area and get my idea out to the market.

9. Finish my First Draft of my Graphic Novel

I have been working on this graphic novel even longer than my poetry book. Many people aren’t even aware that I had this novel in the works for years. I’m tired of not displaying my talent, and it’s time for this novel to reach the light of day. This draft will most likely take me the rest of the year to finish, but I’m determined to get it done. I plan on creating a list of items that I have left which will include deadlines for completion. Otherwise, this will never get done if I don’t create a project plan to complete this draft.

10. Attending More Horror Conventions

Attending more conventions is an easy goal as I’m the biggest horror fan ever! I already have one convention planned for this coming March and looking forward to more this year. There is another one in Dallas that I’m thinking about checking out in May while I’m there visiting a friend. Of course, I’ll be looking for more as I’m completely addicted to them. It’s like a candy store for a horror fan. It’s all the things you love in one place. What could beat that?

What are your goals for 2019 and how do you plan on executing them? How do you keep yourself motivated? Let’s help each other achieve our goals for this year!

Social Media Cleanse

I know it’s been a while since I wrote a blog post. I was running around getting ready to head to Miami and then it was time to leave for my trip. Now that I’m back it’s time to write another post. I went to Miami for the first time for five days, and I loved it. I had the best time, and I can’t wait until I go back again. I did something that I rarely do which is not to take pictures and then post them to social media. I lived in the moment for once and didn’t stop to post the photos every five minutes. It was a very liberating experience to live in the moment and not be so preoccupied with social media. It made me realize how much social media has impacted our lives. I guess to a degree we have allowed it. We sometimes feel the constant need to post images and tell every detail of our lives. We need to practice more of living in the moment. I enjoyed my Miami trip more because I wasn’t trying to gain likes or please my followers. I did something healthy which is to experience the moment, as it was occurring.

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Living in the moment allowed me to have more freedom and experience my trip a lot more. I would post here and there but nothing how I would typically. Life was so simple before social media as people were present and lived in the moment. In the days before social media people would communicate with their company more instead of being on the phone. I believe it is insulting to be on your phone while in the company of others. It signals that not only are you uninterested in the folks around you but that whatever you are doing on your device is more interesting. However, putting your device down and taking in life as its happening is such an invigorating experience. You don’t get those moments back, so it’s important to be present in that given moment.

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I think taking time away from social media is essential especially if you see you are getting too caught up in it. One must remember that social media is a form of entertainment, but it’s not real life. It is a way for you to connect with others from different parts of the country and the world. However, it can’t replace living your life. There is much to see and do out in this beautiful thing called life. Please don’t allow social media to take away from that and make you forget what is significant. I would recommend that everyone at some point goes on a social media cleanse. It will allow you time away to focus on the real world and not the fake. A bonus is communicating with the people around you. With social media, people forgot how to speak when they have people in front of them. Purging from social media gives you time back with loved ones and the world around you. I’m not saying stay entirely away from social media but don’t forget to live your life to the fullest while using it.

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Until next time,

Thkeya Life (1)