The Blogger Recognition Award

I have received a nomination for The Blogger Recognition Award. I am incredibly grateful for this nomination, and I am happy that my writing resonates with people out there.  I want to thank Pamela at https://rollinwiththerollins.net/ for this nomination. Pamela’s blog is about spreading love, light, and positivity into the world. Be sure to check out her blog as I know you will enjoy it as much as I have.

My Journey

I started my blog due to my severe issues with depression at the time. I recently started therapy again, and I was a bit embarrassed that I had allowed myself to get back to this point. Discussing mental health is always a touchy topic to bring up. I kept hearing and seeing stories about other people who were dealing with similar issues. I wanted others to know that they weren’t alone and there’s nothing wrong with seeking help. Then I decided to discuss further on how to improve all relationships in one’s life including family, friends, romantic and the most important one with yourself. The best way to develop these relationships is through self-love which is the route of true happiness. I want everyone to live their best life now!

My Advice

Plan out your content as early and often as possible. The purpose of this is to ensure that you keep your blog up to date with the latest content. Once you are building your blog, you want to ensure that your readers have the most recent information to read. You don’t want to have too many gaps between your posts. That will interfere with the following you’re trying to build for your blog. Consistency is critical to continue your growth and to make your brand.

Be sure to network as much as possible to grow your blog. The #writingcommunity on Twitter is a great place to start with building your network. Having a secure system can have your blog grow, and these are people who can be mentors to you. It can be a lonely world out here in the blogosphere so having strong support is very helpful.  Also, work on becoming a guest contributor on another blog. That will help to increase your exposure to more groups of people as well.

The Rules:

Once you receive a nomination, there are rules for the Blogger Recognition Award:

  1. Thank the blogger for nominating you and give the link to their blog.
  2. Write a blog post on your site displaying the award.
  3. Describe the story of why you started your blog.
  4. Write two pieces of advice you have for new bloggers.
  5. Nominate 15 more bloggers.
  6. Notify each of your nominees of their nomination.

My nominations

Please check out the bloggers below. I enjoyed their work, and I’m sure you’ll love it as well.

1. https://jnycoleh.com/

2. https://sunshinewithsavannah.com/

3. https://tammysreadinglife.wordpress.com/

4. https://sunshineandrobins.wordpress.com/

5. https://jessierenea.com/

6. https://mytrinketsoflife.com/

7. https://momminintherealworld.com/

8. https://writtenbyca.wordpress.com/

9. https://averageluke.com/

10. https://makeitultrapsychology.wordpress.com/

11. https://nyxiesnook.com/

12. https://nishlovepink.com/

13. http://rheaevangelista.com/

14. https://thismansjourney.net/

15. https://gingermomandcompany.com/

The Downfall of People Pleasing

I discussed the importance of self-care and self-love openly on this blog page. Honestly, at times I feel like a fraud because I’m not living up to the truth that I preach. One issue is that I tend to second-guess myself and scrutinized everything. I’m so concerned with making mistakes that not only do I still make them but they are worse than I could even imagine. The reason for this stress is due to my issue of people pleasing.  I get so worried about what my family may think or believe. I know it doesn’t matter what others say and it’s important to live your life for you. Trust me I get it, and I heard all those reasons before. However, when you’re always in your head none of that matters. You believe that no matter what decision you make it’s still the wrong one. If my choices are going to cause harm to those around me, then it’s best to avoid the risk. That is a horrible way to live and not the best way to view things.

I wish that I could say that I don’t care what family thinks of me, but it’s not true. I get down on myself because I want to be happier in life. Delighted people don’t focus on the opinions of others. Their primary objective is to ensure their happiness supersedes everything else around them. I can’t wait for that to me as I’m continuously struggling with this daily. The next few paragraphs are an open letter to myself about how I’m going to not only love myself more but how I will implement these changes. I hope that reading this will help others out there learn to do the same.

Thkeya what can I say we have been on this beautiful journey called life together for the past 33 years. You have made such a positive impact on the lives of so many around you. The sad part is nobody understands the pain that you deal with on the daily. You go from happiness to sadness as the wind blows. All of this nonsense is due to you not being happy within yourself. Your wants and needs have fallen to the wayside to help those in need. Especially if it pertains to your family, you will go above and beyond to help them. There’s nothing wrong with being there for them but what about you? Are your desires not of great importance? At some point, you have to take a break from saving the world and focus on you. Since you’re responsible and reliable, your family will often overlook being there for you. They don’t believe that you need assistance. Therefore, it’s hardly granted or asked.

You’re still human at the end of the day and not a superhero. You need to take your cape off to rest and regroup for your mental wellbeing. I know you’re worried because every time you do you feel like you’re selfish. In the famous words of  Iyanla Vanzant, “It’s selfish not to put yourself first.” I understand hearing all this is a lot for you. You’re most likely furious with me for even bringing this up. I don’t care what you want to hear because you need to listen to this. If you don’t make changes NOW, it will have dire consequences for you. Resentment is close to creeping in, and that’s a horrible sign. Some changes need to occur, and I’m begging you to make them sooner than later.

Of course, I would never leave you with all this to unpack and not try to help you implement changes ASAP. The first solution is to continue with therapy. I know it’s scary and you felt like you can do all this on your own. Well, therapy will help with these new demons that are coming to the surface. You need the proper tools to help deal with the range of emotions that you’re experiencing. I know you want to say you got this, but it’s a more prominent sign of strength to say I need help. Anyone who puts you down about this decision doesn’t need to be in your life period. You will gain more confidence, and that radiance that is inside will be shining out even more.

The second solution is following your heart and trust your instincts more. You know what’s best for you so stop doubting yourself. It’s exceptionally frustrating to watch you go over and over a decision when you got this. Kill the self-doubt and follow your first mind. It’s boring not taking risks anyway. The third solution is to stop waiting for a mythical time in the future to do something. The best time to do it is NOW! If you hold on for a great time to happen in life then literally nothing will ever occur. That’s not how life works. You don’t get to follow down this smooth path with rose petals. It’s bumpy, messy, confusing and filled with heartache along the way. The best you can do is pray for a perfect outcome and figure it out if it doesn’t happen. The fourth and final solution is to stop caring about what others have to say. I don’t care if it’s your 4th cousin twice removed let that negative energy go. I know it feels like you ‘re getting picked on and that’s why you take it to heart. Stop allowing it to affect you and see how quickly those opinions dissipate. The reason why they are so prevalent is due to you giving it attention. Once people know that you aren’t breathing life into their views, then there’s no reason to share them.

That was a lot to handle so take a few deep breaths. Meditate and get yourself ready to tackle these solutions head-on. The best way to implement these changes is to start small and work your way down. As you get through the first solution, then the next will be much easier to follow. I want the best for you, and I can’t see you hurting anymore. Please do yourself a favor and choose happiness always. Like Anthony Hopkins said, “None of us is getting out of here alive.” Based on that notion living in true happiness is the only way to go.

I love you, and I’m very proud of you. I choose you forever and always without question nor hesitation.

Xoxo

Me, Myself and I

Happier You

When you reach a certain age particularly in your thirties, you start to wonder where your life is going. Often you will question if the choices you made previously impact where you currently are. You have to realize that you made the best decisions you could at the time. You pray for the best and hope that if the worst comes that you deal with it the best way possible. I look at my personal life, and I wonder where precisely did I fail? I seem to have everything going right professionally but not so much in my romantic life. If I’m honest, I feel this way due to society and family pressure. I don’t think some of my family members realize how hurtful it feels to continually state where are my husband and children. It makes you feel like as a woman if you don’t have either then you have failed in life. I’m not saying I don’t want them, but it will happen in due time. It would be nice if some people in my life would understand that and support where I am currently.

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I still have so much traveling to do, and I’m currently working on living my best life. I haven’t done much of this in the past. I’m living, but I’m not living my life to the fullest. I’m becoming a complete bore with just working and going home. There is more to life than working and sitting around waiting for something or someone to come into my life. I decided I needed to start trying to keep myself busy. I kept myself busy by planning more activities and stop making excuses when I get invited out. Surely I won’t meet my future husband in the house, so I have to live a little to meet him. Comfortably being in a routine doesn’t allow for change to occur. You have to break the cycle to see growth and development. I started to break the habit by coming out of my shell by doing the things I enjoy more often. I began to spend more time with friends, working out again, getting back to my writing, planning vacations, and trying new activities such as painting.

carpe diem

To be a great wife and mother, I need to be a happier person. Once I work on this then whomever I am supposed to be with will find me. I’m not going to rush a relationship because people around me feel that I should. Until that time comes, I am going to continue working on being a better me and having a more fulfilling life. The addition of a husband and children will aid in that happiness. The most important part is that I need to be happy beforehand. If I’m not open and willing for love to come into my life, then the things I’m looking for won’t happen. Get right within yourself before getting into a relationship and never stop improving on yourself once you are in one. Doing this will aid in the longevity of your relationship for years to come.

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Until next time,

Thkeya Life (1)

Living Your Purpose

Have you ever woken up and knew you weren’t being fulfilled in your life? There was something that you felt you should be doing; yet you have no idea what that is. I’ve had this feeling a lot lately. I feel like I’m alive, but I’m not living. I’m just going through the motions of life, but I feel like something is continuously missing from it. I finally came to the revelation of what this empty feeling is associated with. I’m not really happy with the current state of my career. I enjoy what I do for a living, but I’m not passionate about it.  My true passion comes from being a writer. Ever since I was a little girl, I always wanted to be a writer.

Unfortunately, I was always worried if I would be able to make a decent living to support myself.  I want to get to that place in my life where I love and enjoy all aspects of it. I don’t want to be stagnant in one place but explore as much as possible.  No more excuses I’m claiming it this year that I will begin to make more strides in reaching my goals. This year I am speaking it into existence that I will write that book, move into that new apartment, grow my blog, fall in love, travel more, and be more spontaneous. There is no time like the present to get out there and enjoy your life. The hardest part of accomplishing your goals is getting started. What are you waiting for? Get started already!!!