Toxic Friends, Maybe It’s You

Before the start of the New Year, I see the same old rhetoric. I’m getting rid of the poisonous people in my life before the New Year. I don’t want to go into the New Year with the previous year’s drama. The thing I find most interesting is the need to do this every year. Do you have that many toxic people in your life? Is it necessary to remove these people regularly? This predicament got me to thinking about a few things. Are these people toxic or is the poisonous person you? Think about it for a few minutes. How many times did people leave your life and the first response is that person was toxic anyway. After a while, you need to start looking at the person in the mirror. Maybe you are having so many issues because you are the toxic person you are trying to remove. Self-reflection is a hard thing to do, and sometimes it’s difficult to admit destructive behavior within ourselves. Acknowledging that you might be toxic is scary at first. However, the reward for fixing yourself is very fulfilling.

It can be hard to admit, but each of us has toxic behavior. Even I have to correct the harmful habits that I have. There is nothing wrong with accepting you have an issue. The problem is never altering your behavior. I understand that looking inside yourself could be a mortifying experience, but you can’t think that everyone around you is the toxic one. If you find that you are always losing friends and people are habitually walking out your life then maybe you are the problem. You are the company that you keep. If you have to get rid of people often, it’s time to reevaluate your discernment for picking friends. You have chosen these folks to be in your life. Why would you select toxic people in the first place? Once you see that someone is displaying bad behavior, it is up to you to say something. Waiting until the New Year to remove someone from your life is problematic. It took the New Year for you to notice this behavior. Why wasn’t this person gone months ago? We are responsible for the folks we allow to stay in our lives. At some point we have to say to ourselves I wanted this to happen.

Again, think about it for a few more minutes. You like something about this person to keep them around. They are only as toxic to your life as you allow them to be. Once the toxicity has lasted long, you have to look inward as secretly you like the chaos. That’s the only explanation for all the drama to fester for so long. Once the spectacle consumes you for an extended period, you become the very thing you dislike. When this occurs, you now become a toxic friend who then causes people to run away from you. It is so important to protect your peace from outsiders. Once that is disturbed no matter how much you want that person around you must remove them out your life. Your mental state isn’t worth the headache. Before concluding I need to get rid of toxic friends determine if you have become toxic.  If so, work on that so you can be a better person for yourself and others. The energy you are getting from other people could be what you are giving out inadvertently.

What is your experience with toxic friends? And how did you conclude to remove them from your life? Did you realize that you were becoming toxic? Is so, how did you fix it?

New Year, New Beginnings

What a ride 2018 was for me and I’m sure for many of you as well. As I look back on the past year, I made a lot of strides both personally and professionally. I started a new job which next month will make it a year within the role. My blog is turning one year old next week. I traveled to four different places. I met new and old friends along my journey throughout the year. I further my love for horror by attending three horror conventions. As humans, we tend to focus on the negative and completely negate the positives that have occurred. One thing, in particular, is how much I’ve grown throughout the year. I first started this blog as a way for me to help others by sharing similar situations and feelings. Little did I know that the person who would benefit the most would be me. I learned so much about myself through this journey of being a blogger for a year. I learned that to be successful; I would have to open myself up to how and why I’m at this point in my life. There were things that I allowed to hold me back from accomplishing my goals. I had to go through a self-discovery where I had to look myself in the mirror and be honest. I had things about myself that I didn’t like and I needed to correct. I’m still a work in progress, but the most important part is that I’m working on making the necessary changes.

Instead of waiting for the “New Year.” I started to implement those changes before the start of 2019. It was the best decision I ever made. It’s not perfect by any means, and unfortunately, I do fall short here and there. The critical piece to remember is to continue to try your best at whatever you are doing. Obstacles will come your way but keep it moving as not to derail your purpose. Keep your eye on the prize and never forget the reason why you are going for the gold. The difference between the person who goes after their goals and the person who doesn’t is all about willpower. Mental willpower to be exact. Mentally you will have to push through as there will be times when you will want to give up. There will be times when you are tired, unmotivated, uninspired, and don’t want to do it. Those are the times when your mental willpower will have to kick into overdrive. We are human, and of course, you may want a break. However, taking a break can turn into a few days, weeks, months, and then years. You don’t want time to pass by, and you are still waiting for “next year” to achieve your goals.

The power of the mind is mighty as well as the power of the tongue. Think it and then speak it into existence. You manifest what you get in life. It sounds insane to say that your mind is powerful, but it’s a very true statement. If you think and speak negatively, that will consume your life, and that’s all that you will become. Change your mindset towards a more favorable outcome, and you will yield different results. Manifest what you precisely want and watch it blossom. Nothing good will come unless you believe it first. Cheers to 2019 and to all the wonderful blessings to come!

Until next time,