7 Deadly Sins of Dating

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With 2020 just around the corner, it’s becoming even more important to rid yourself of the deadly sins of dating. You must avoid these sins to have a productive relationship. The list that I compiled is by no means all of them, but the ones I feel will quietly kill a romance before it has time to bloom.

Ghosting

Come on people it’s 2019 and ghosting is still a thing. I understand not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings but trust me leaving their messages unread isn’t the answer. Of course, some folks will take the hint and move along. Whereas other people may feel desperate to continue because they aren’t sure where things took a wrong turn. My advice is DON’T DO THAT EVER! I don’t care how great the person is or if the chemistry was on 1,000. People who are vested in you don’t ghost PERIOD. If this happens chunk of the deuces and start dating other people. It is critical not to put all your eggs in one basket. Especially if that person hasn’t displayed that they’re worthy of you doing so.

Bare Minimum Standards

Let me break it down if you aren’t familiar with the concept. It is praising your dates over necessary dating etiquette. For example, texting back, opening the car door, and checking that you arrived home safely to name a few. With standards that low nobody can complain about getting less than stellar dating prospects. I’m not saying you shouldn’t have standards as they’re necessary while dating. However, set your standards a bit higher to weed out the non-committers from your dating pool.

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Being a Pick Me

I’m not going to lie I wasn’t as familiar with this deadly sin previously. I honestly had to ask a few friends what this was. In a nutshell, it’s someone who screams desperation. They will say and do anything to get someone to date them. Even if that means settling for less and not having their requirements met. Dating has become so challenging that it’s hard for people to maintain positive. It’s essential to stay with a positive mindset at all times while dating. Things can be bleak and then turn around in an instant. Never settle as forever is too long of a time to be miserable.

Holding on to Past Hurt

Remember the old saying the best way to get over someone is being with someone new. I personally only agree with that statement if you’re ready to move on. Making others pay is played out, and we’re too grown for that. Your date has nothing to do with the situation, so why should they suffer? Do the right thing like Spike Lee and don’t start until you’re emotionally, physically, spiritually, and mentally healed. Otherwise, you will be helping to create more damaged people, and there’s enough of that.

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Consistently Inconsistent

That is a term I coined to describe someone who can’t consistently be present, but who will pop up from time to time. They will send that dreaded “I miss you” text or the classic “Hey stranger.”Ugh please do us all a favor and go away like the dinosaurs. Nobody wants or needs that in their lives. If you don’t have time to date, then be an adult and say that. I have a better idea: DON’T DATE until you can devote time to it. Overly simple right. It will avoid so much drama and make dating so much easier.

Lying

Of course, this deadly sin is apparent, but I would be remiss if I didn’t put it on the list. The whole point of the dating phase is to see how things would pan out on a romantic level. If you’re dishonest during this phase that pretty much describes what someone would look forward to in the future. We all tell little white lies. For example, I ate pizza when I stated I would eat salad as apart of my new diet. If a person lies about something significant like where they work and not having kids. Those are red flags that are too glaring to be ignored.

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Rushing

It’s essential to remember that while dating the purpose is to get to know someone and see if a relationship can build based on similar interest. None of this can occur when rushing comes into play. That could mean after the 2nd date ready to move in together. Some people may feel that’s too soon, while others are all for it. You have to take the time to figure the other person out before determining the best way to proceed. Making sure both parties are moving at a healthy pace will make the dating phase more comfortable and enjoyable.

That’s my list on the seven deadly sins of dating. I’m thinking about revisiting this sometime in the future to add more. Let me know your thoughts, and what are some of your deadly sins of dating? Please rate, comment, share, and subscribe.

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Happy dating!

 

 

Happy Birthday!!!!!

Thkeya Life Inspiration turned one on Tuesday, January 8th. Thank you so much for all your support during this past year. It was a fantastic start to becoming a blogger, and I’m looking forward to what’s more to come. This year I’m planning on growing this blog and making it more prominent than ever! To celebrate this blog’s birthday, I will be running a contest starting today until Monday, February 11th at 11:59 pm eastern standard time. The contest rules are you have to like, comment and share Thkeya Life Inspiration for an entire month. Whoever does this the most will win the contest. The prize will be your choice of an iTunes or Amazon gift card to be delivered via email. Be sure to subscribe to Thkeya Life Inspiration to receive the most up to date information on the contest. I appreciate all the support and thanks again for continuing on this journey with me. Here’s to 2019 and all the new content that I have in store for you. Good luck and may the odds be in your favor!

Removing Baggage

Once you reach your thirties, it’s difficult to experience life at this point without baggage. You can’t escape it, but you should be open about it. Being honest is even more critical when it impacts your dating life. You should be as truthful as possible as the choice to be with you should be a mutual decision. Don’t ever take the option out of the hands of your potential mate. Eventually, that person will develop resentment and mistrust if you do. I understand being skeptical about revealing too much as it can work against you. However, if that person is ready to leave, then they aren’t meant for you. Do you want someone who will give up easily and not stick it out? I didn’t think so. It is better, to tell the truth as a way to weed out the wrong individuals. Be sure to prepare for a relationship before getting involved in one. Please review the items below before jumping into a relationship. I understand the need for companionship/love, but if you genuinely aren’t open (i.e., emotionally unavailable, rebound, baby mama/daddy drama and lack of time) it’s not fair to invite someone into that drama.

Emotionally Unavailable

If you are dealing with past pain, mistrust, or stuck on an ex, then you aren’t ready to date. Please don’t use someone for companionship or be prepared to have the windows busted out your car. That other person has emotions, and it’s unfair to allow someone to fall for you when emotionally you can’t commit to a relationship. Be open and honest about where you are and let that other person decide to continue to deal with you.

Rebound

I know the old saying is the best way to get over someone is under someone new. I completely disagree with this statement. That new person again has feelings, and all you will be doing is toying with them. Your new romantic partner will be under the impression that you are ready for a relationship just like they are. They will feel that way because you lead them to believe that. Getting over an ex is not the new person’s responsible it’s yours. Take the time to be single and work through your issues before a new relationship. Of course, you should continue to improve yourself while in a relationship. However, it’s vital that significant problems like your previous relationship ending should be worked out before starting a new one. A long-term relationship ending doesn’t mean jumping into another relationship a few months later. You aren’t ready nor have you healed. Don’t use someone else to mask that pain. You will end up on an episode of “Snapped” if you aren’t careful.

Baby Mama/Daddy Drama

If you are dealing with a crazy ex who happens to be the mother or father of your children, please work through that before starting a relationship. Everyone needs love which I understand entirely, but that’s a lot of drama to ask someone to take on. If there are child support and custody issues, get that together beforehand. Your new relationship shouldn’t now be the time to want to work on those issues. The ex will feel that your new relationship is causing problems and they will start to become angry. The ex may, unfortunately, begin to take out their anger on the children. The way this can occur is by seeing the children less and in some cases stop paying child support. Also, if your new significant other doesn’t have children the expectation of time will be required. If you don’t have a visitation schedule in place how can you properly develop a relationship? Save everyone the heartache and figure out any loose ends before starting a new relationship.

Lack of Time

If you are too busy due to work, business travel or whatever your reasons are be upfront about it. Don’t start a new relationship if you will not have the time necessary to dedicate to it. Things become even more complicated if the other person is fully present and ready for a relationship. If you don’t have the time to commit to a relationship, then you have to let the other person know that. Allow the other person to decide if this relationship is right for them. You may not want to hear if the answer is no, but you don’t have the right to make decisions for others. It’s not fair for a person to get involved with you under the assumption you can commit to a relationship. Due to your lack of time, you most likely want something more casual. There is nothing wrong with this, but you have to be forthcoming about it.

I know this sounds like you can’t be in a relationship ever and I hope that’s not the message you’re getting. The purpose of this is to remind you of the importance of being a healthy and happy person before a new relationship. You want to come into a new relationship ready to start fresh and be open to new experiences. You can’t do that with the baggage I just described. The types of baggage discussed in this post doesn’t allow for a sustainable and prosperous relationship. It is imperative that these types of baggage be nonexistent before starting a new relationship. Otherwise, you will be in a never-ending string of bad relationships.  All because your past issues are still present.

Until next time,

Thkeya Life (1)