I Found My Inspiration

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During this time away from writing, I’ve been holding myself back from creativity. I keep waiting to feel in the mood or waiting for inspiration to smack me in the face. One of my favorite artist St. Vincent conducted an interview the other day. She stated if you wait to be in the mood, you’ll never be creative. It got me thinking if I could truly call myself a writer if I haven’t written anything in months. Whenever I get the urge to write something, nothing comes out, or I hate whatever I put together. I built up this thought of perfection in my mind that’s impossible to reach. My unrealistic standards are setting the mood, having an idea in mind, creating an outline beforehand, creating bullet points of the topic, proofreading within the following two days tops, and then publish the blog post. There’s no wonder why I haven’t written anything as all that is too much pressure. Sometimes you have no idea where the thought is going, and it’s best to let the mind wander. The best inspiration may come from just getting your ideas out and then fine-tined the piece later.

My purpose for writing this post today is to tell you to keep going. Even when you feel like giving up and when you aren’t in the mood. Keep going, especially when you aren’t in the mood. It’s easy to feel motivated when you’re happy and in a great headspace. The struggle comes in on the lazy days and when the only thing you can muster is to eat and go back to sleep. Given the current climate wanting to go back to sleep and not do anything sounds fantastic. However, there are times when you need to get your head back in there and go after those goals. That is the actual test of your motivation. I saw an Instagram post a few days ago, and it discussed how people seek advice, but they lack self-discipline. For example, you know what you need to eat if you want to maintain a healthy weight. You don’t need nutrition advice, but you need to develop better self-discipline habits. Create a plan for yourself and stick to it. For example, if you need to study for a test, tell yourself the sooner, I study today, the more of the rest of the day I have to myself.

Inspiration doesn’t just show up at will. You have to be in a mindset for it to flourish. You have to dedicate time to the things you want to occur. For example, I set aside two hours today to start writing to create this post. I honestly had no idea where I was going with this when I first started. I allowed for the thoughts in my head to come through my fingers and create this post. As I got further along with how I wanted to craft the reminding elements, this post started to take shape. I allowed my mind to do as she pleases, and I was able to take something unexpected into a gem. I believe this is how inspiration is supposed to happen naturally. You don’t force it but make room for it to come to you. Once it finally comes, you will be able to create something when you least expect it. If you aren’t working on something constantly, you can never hone your craft or get better. Things get better over time, but that’s impossible to do if you aren’t putting in the work.

Breaks are a necessary part of life. There are times when you’re hitting a brick wall, and stepping away is the only way to come back from that. The trick is not to allow that break to become permanent. Once you stop something cold turkey, it can be rough to start it back again. It doesn’t mean it’s impossible to correct, but it will require more effort on your part to overcome. My advice in this situation is not to allow the breaks to go too long. Create a designated timeframe of when you will return, as this will get you to commit to continuing on your goal. For example, I took a break from exercising this past week. However, I made it a point to tell myself and my instructor; I will be back the following week. That will keep me honest and accountable about my goal.

If there is a lack of commitment, it will be challenging to maintain a plan and see it to the finish line. A goal without a plan is a wish. Wishes aren’t actionable, and when there is a lack of action, there’s nothing to measure your progress. To tell if you’re moving in the right direction is through an actionable plan. My new motto is to state the goal, plan out the steps to achieve the goal, measure the steps to achieve the goal, and include a goal completion deadline. Without this much attention to detail, I would struggle to get anything accomplished. Now, I’m going to apply this same logic to my writing.

Throughout my rumbling, I hope that you found something useful to apply to your life. I wanted to share somethings that helped me recently, and I hope they can help you. During this pandemic period, it has been difficult for everyone. Trying to stay motivated and not get bottled down in negativity is an extraordinary feat. I clamber myself at times, and I took several social media breaks. People can be miserable at times, and I was trying my best not to entertain that drama. I wasn’t successful all the time, but I made attempts. If I’m honest, this impacted my ability to write. I didn’t know if anyone would care what I had to say or even if it would be well received.

People’s attention is elsewhere, so at times I felt who would even care to read a blog. There are so many other important things going on in the world. I had to remember that the people who want to seek out your post will and the others won’t. You can’t focus on would people care because the person that matters is you. Whomever this post is meant to touch, it will reach them. Let this be a lesson to you. You don’t stop something because you hold someone else’s opinion in higher regard than yours. You never know whose life you will impact by being yourself. Go out there and show the world the most beautiful person they ever saw. The inspiration that you possess could be a beacon of hope to someone else.

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Be sure to check out the discussion question before you go, and I’ll chat with you next time.

How do you manage to stay inspired in those moments when you’re struggling the most?

Quarantine Life Part 1: Relationships

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I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted here. It’s been a lot trying to get through the current stay at home order. I’ve observed something about relationships during this quarantine life. I’m going to write a three-part series, including this post about my direct and indirect experiences that the quarantine life has impacted. I was in a relationship before this coronavirus changed our lives drastically. Once the stay at home order started my relationship eventually changed. I let him stay with me (in hindsight, that was a bad idea)for three weeks. Honestly, I learned an infinite amount about myself into two categories, what I did well and what needs improvement. I realized within those three weeks how incompatible we were. He was happy as he got everything he wanted, but my needs not so much.

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There were red flags that kept coming up that I tried to look past. Let’s say something came up that I couldn’t ignore anymore. With the help of the quarantine, it allowed us to speed things up and notice that we weren’t right for each other. No love lost as you live and learn. The pro to this situation is that it saved me heartache later on. I discovered this information in less than two months as opposed to four/five months down the line. That sounds like a blessing to me. I’ve never lived with a man before, so that was a significant growing pain for me. I have to be with someone I’m compatible with, as it will be much easier to compromise within a relationship. When you’re with someone, you have a deep connection with compromising will come naturally. Unfortunately, my newfound relationship was short lived. I gained knowledge that now I know the changes I’m making are in the right direction. Now I need to find someone I’m more connected with, and that will be my last relationship (God willing!).

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I notice that relationships are taking a toll during this time as well. I heard my neighbors arguing across the hall the other week. I never want to be in a relationship like that. The way the woman was yelling at her boyfriend, I thought I was in trouble. Sorry not sorry, but if someone can yell at you, then it’s time to go. I always believed that if someone could yell, then they can raise their hand to you. I don’t have time for either situation, so I’m out, no, thank you. I can see why domestic violence is going up if this is the situation folks are experiencing. I know a few people who’s relationships have ended due to the quarantine. I guess their relationship couldn’t handle the proximity to each other. That’s something I don’t understand either. If you’re with someone you can’t stand, then how did the relationship occur? The new criteria to add to your dating questionnaire is, can you be quarantine with this person? If the answer is no, then keep it moving. You’re going to be spending massive amounts of time with this person, so you should want to be around them.

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Stop getting into relationships with people you only spent limited amount of time getting to know. I have a few coworkers who were complaining about not being back at work. I asked them why, and the response was they couldn’t stand their spouse. Again I’m confused as to why a person would marry someone they don’t like. The quarantine life is going to show different aspects of a relationship. Either it’s stable, and this situation will only make things healthier, or the relationship will be coming apart at the seams. Of course, this time will be difficult on everyone, and it’s essential to be with someone who will help you through this event. I suffer from anxiety, and while I was still in my relationship, it took a beating. It was something about that relationship that was bothering my spirit. God has a way of telling us things if we would only listen. It took me going through that rough patch to realize it was time to move on. Better late than never as it could’ve been worst.

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Being in the home 24/7 is an emotional blow to anyone, particularly those who suffer from mental health issues. My anxiety was through the roof for the first few weeks of the stay at home order. I would have panic attacks, and I had trouble sleeping. What has been a tremendous help to me is exercising, yoga, meditation, reading, writing, virtual happy hours, and my all-time favorite therapy. There are so many other things you could be doing during this time. I’m sure there is something you want to do that you’ve been putting off. Now is the perfect time as any to focus on those goals that have been on the back burner. The bright side of this is that it will give you something else to discuss. Talking about the same thing over and over becomes tedious, especially during this time. Bringing something else to the table will break up the monotony. Let’s try something different since you don’t have anything better to do. You mind as well be more constructive with your time. I saw someone who made a dress and put braids in her hair, thanks to YouTube University. Be creative and Glow Up! By the way, that’s the title of the second part of this series.

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Don’t forget to get involved in the discussion questions below:

Has the quarantine impacted your relationships in a positive or negative light?
What steps are you taking to help keep yourself sane during this time?

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10 Fun Facts about Thkeya

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I thought this week it would be fun if I told everyone fun facts about myself. Sometimes it’s excellent to break up the severe topics and introduce some excitement into this blog now and then. My thought is that it would be interesting to learn more about the woman behind the blog. I put together ten fun facts about me as a way for you all to get to know me a little better. Feel free to share your comments about this post and let me know if you would like to see more post like this in the future. Next time I’ll be back with the typical topics that you have grown accustomed to but for now, enjoy the information below.

  1. Traveling

I love to travel and experience new places around me. I’ve learned a lot about myself while traveling, particularly as it pertains to solo traveling. I learned how resilient I can and how quickly I can adapt to new surroundings. I believe this has contributed to my growth and maturity that I have displayed within the last year.

  1. Music

I am a lover of all music, and I’m the wrong person to ask for my music on a road trip. My iPod goes from Prince to Fleetwood Mac. I’m not joking at all about that. Depending on whom I’m traveling with, I will create a playlist which will play the type of music; I know that person would enjoy. Otherwise, I would just let the iPod play on shuffle and get in the zone. People would be surprised that I am a huge Celine Dion fan. I saw her for the first time in Vegas in January. I loved every minute of it! I’m looking forward to seeing her again as she puts on a good show. If you have doubts about seeing her do it. You won’t regret seeing her at all. Also, the latest artist that I am obsessed with is St. Vincent. I was fascinated with her performance at the Grammy’s earlier this year. I listened to her most recent album as well as her back catalog. I’m ready for new music from her.

  1. Horror Conventions

Many people are shocked to learn about my interest in horror movies. I have been a horror fan for as long as I could remember. Two of my favorite childhood movies are The Witches and Hocus Pocus. That is where my interest in horror and fantasy truly started to take form. Then, of course, I discovered Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. Many of the jokes in her first film went over my head as I was very young when I first saw it. I am a massive fan of hers even to this day. I first went to see Elvira last year at my first horror convention. Not sure why I haven’t been to them in the past, but I’m head over heels now. I’m addicted to them, and I can’t wait to attend more. I have been to 4 so far, and I’m going to visit my 5th  horror convention in 8 days. The best part about it is that I will have a professional photo op with Elvira in full costume. I am beyond excited as Cassandra Peterson (Elvira) doesn’t dress up as Elvira often anymore. It is on rare occasions, and I’m not going to miss out on this opportunity.

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  1. My favorite color is purple

Purple has been my favorite color all my life. I associate this color with royalty and being queen like. When I’m down and not feeling the best, I look at the color purple and remember to fix my crown. There are so much strength and power associated with the color purple that it makes me love it even more.

  1. Reading/Writer

I am an avid reader, and I enjoy reading new things. Reading gives way to imagination and creativity that I otherwise would’ve given a second thought. Reading has helped me to become a better writer by learning how to engage your audience and how to structure a story in the most effective ways. Some people, even family, would be surprised to learn this next fun fact. I wrote a screenplay back when I was 11 years old. I vaguely remember what the story line contained. However, I can tell you it was horror related. I honestly have no idea why I didn’t study screenwriting in college. I guess I allowed the world to take away my creativity. Don’t ever let anyone do this to you. It is better to live a world of wonder that one of sorrow.

  1. Hopeless Romantic

I think everyone can pick up on this one based off reading my blog posts. I have a strong belief in love, and I’m not giving up on it. Even though it doesn’t seem to love me, especially not as of late, but I know it’s coming my way. Sometimes we go through things to better prepare ourselves for when the right person comes along. Also, if you don’t learn something, the universe will have you deal with it over and over until you do. It is crucial to keep an open mind when it comes to love.

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  1. Halloween is my favorite holiday

That is 2nd to my birthday, of course, but I am a massive fan of Halloween. It’s so much fun because I get to dress up as whomever I want and have the most excitement with it. There is so much variety when it comes to Halloween. You can dress up flirty or become a scholar. There is no shortage of costumes that you can wear during Halloween. Going to parties, haunted houses, and going to theme parks to celebrate Halloween is all apart of the fun. It’s the most fun you can have in one night, and I’m here for it.

  1. Seafood Lover

Some people would be surprised to learn that I am not a meat eater. The most that I would eat would be chicken and turkey. Having a burger on the grill is the best, so I would partake on that. You want to make me the happiest girl on Earth, find me a seafood spot and I’ll love you forever. I remember the 1st time I went to Ocean City, Maryland (which is a seafood lover’s dream), and the abundance of seafood everywhere was a cultural shock. I seriously had seafood withdrawals when I get back home. I had so much seafood, and all of it was fresh from that morning. If you are a seafood lover as well, you have to check out that place if you never been. You’ll thank me later trust me.

  1. Born and raised in Newark, New Jersey

I believe it’s important for people to know where you came from as it doesn’t determine how you will end up. People make the assumption that based on your zip code that will dictate where you will end up in life. Where you are from makes you who you are, and those lessons carry you through adulthood.

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  1. Learning instruments/ new languages

Not sure why, as a child, I never mastered an instrument. I have joy from music that I honestly can’t describe. However, it’s never too late to learn something new. Learning the piano and guitar are two instruments that I have an interest in learning to play. You never know I could become the next musical genius! Learning a different language would be cool as well. There are three languages that I want to learn. They are Spanish, French, and Italian. Also, it would be nice to speak a different language in front of other people, and they have no idea what I’m saying. It would be my little secret unless someone knows the language. Anyway, I think it would be a fun thing to learn as you never stop learning in life.

Those are my fun facts. I hope this was interesting and exciting for you to learn more about me. Enjoy your week, and I’ll chat with you next time!

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