Are you the type of person who can pick up the emotions and energy of other people? For example, if someone cries you immediately feel that pain and cry as well. If you see something disturbing on television, does it tend to stay with you for the rest of the day? If you answered yes to these questions, then you are very in tune with your emotions. Some may even argue that you are too emotionally ingrained in your feelings. Having these feelings can be a blessing and a curse at the same time. The blessing is that you are very empathetic to others which can be very helpful in romantic relationships. The downside is this makes you very susceptible to energy vampires. They tend to prey upon your empathetic nature and guilt you into things you may not necessarily be comfortable doing. You become so engulfed with that person that you forget who you are and lose yourself in the process. Here is when you have to be careful with your emotions and who you let in your life. It’s effortless to get caught up with other people as you feel you are helping them. The issue becomes when they are taking, but won’t be there for you when you need it. When this happens, it leaves you high and dry with nothing to show for it. You felt empty and drained of all your resources.
I have this issue myself, so
I have a tough time not offering to help.
I guess I feel like I have to or I should since the person is confiding in me.
However, just because someone is venting to you doesn’t mean you have to take
that on. Especially if that person is never pouring back into you, you must protect your mental peace and learn
to say no to people. You can have empathy, but
that doesn’t mean owning what that person is dealing with currently. There’s nothing wrong with saying this is too much for
me to handle, so I need to back away. I am giving that other person time and space to
work through their issues. I know people say that if you back away you are
selfish and never cared about that person. I disagree with that statement. If
your problems are escalating to a point
where it is impossible to have a healthy
happy relationship, it’s time to leave. Relationships
involve two people growing together and moving towards becoming one with each
other. If one person isn’t in a position to do this then how is the relationship supposed to last? You
can only take so much and if that person
isn’t trying to fix it then what other
choice do you have? The same can be said for friendships and family members as
You can love people from afar,
but that doesn’t mean let that drama
enter your life and impact your wellbeing. For those of you who don’t have this
issue, I am jealous of you. You can separate
yourself from people and the problems
that are surrounding them. However, to those who tend to take on the emotions
and difficulties of others, we must be careful. We must be very
picky about who we let into our personal
and mental space. People can pick up on how we are and then it can be used to
their advantage. Look out for the signs that this person isn’t as generous and
using you to feel better about themselves. Listen to your gut and remove
yourself from any situation that is detrimental
to your health. We aren’t going any more
days, months, nor years with toxic behavior. We will no longer allow this to dampen our spirits.
We are moving forward in life with our peace and anything that disturbs that is
way too expensive.
Do you feel that you are too empathetic? If so, what have you done to correct this? If not, what do you think makes people more empathetic than others?
I think it’s important to not only discuss your goals but
have a plan to execute them as well. A goal without a plan is a wish as the
saying states. To keep me honest I felt that I would utilize this post to
detail my top goals for 2019. I thought
that I would not only list out my goals but how I plan to execute them as well.
I will keep you posted on my progress throughout the year. Please call me out
as well if I don’t mention any of my goals after this post. I need to be accountable if I’m going to accomplish them.
Also, knowing that other people are reading this is giving me even more motivation.
We all need that extra push and seeing this in plain
black and white is a great motivator.
My goals for the year are:
1. Travel More
Last year I stated that I would travel once a quarter. I
achieved just that, and I would like to
continue that into 2019. I accomplished this goal by having a travel fund and
adding it into my budget to save money
for my travel activities. I will continue
to plan out all my travel activities to ensure that I have adequate funds to participate.
2. Purchase Real Estate
I know at first this sounds like I mean home, townhouse, or condo. That would be nice, but that’s not what I’m going to have. I want to open my own business. Being an entrepreneur is something that I have discussed for the longest, and this will finally be my year to accomplish this goal. I want to purchase a building to start my financial service business. I want to teach others in my community how to manage their money, learn more about stocks/bonds, retirement and credit solutions. I want others to be more financially independent as a way to generate wealth. The way to break the curse of poverty is by creating wealth through real estate. I saw a video by a CPA that stated that the way to generate wealth is via the tax code. That is how many people pay less in taxes and create equity. To achieve this, you would need to be knowledgeable and having your credit/savings in order. In the next few months, I am going to reach out to a realtor to help with finding the right place for my business.
3. Publish my Poetry Book
I have been working on this
book for as long as I could remember. I’m sure my friends are tired of me
talking about this book and are ready to read it already. I will be granting
your wishes as 2019 is the year for this book to see the light of day. I will
be self-publishing the book which I am very nervous about since I have no idea
what to expect. I have to make sure every detail down to the cover looks
perfect. I can’t wait for everyone to see the finished product as I’m so proud
to show it off. Look out for my book later this year at an Amazon near you.
4. Start a New Job
I have been at my current employer for nine years well ten this year, and it’s time for a change. One thing that worries me is getting stagnant staying at one place too long. At this point, I feel like I have plateaued in my current team. I still have things that I can contribute however I’m not learning nor growing anymore. I have overstayed my welcome, and it’s time to move on to greener (hopefully) pastures. I have been comfortable for so long, and that is the reason why I stayed. Therefore, it’s time to step outside of my comfy zone and look forward to looking for a new role. I will start applying for a job internally and post my resume on LinkedIn to get eyes to my talents.
5. Fall in Love (Fingers
My love life is on my list every
year and every year I fail miserably. This time I am saying no more, and I am
going to make a considerable effort to make sure it happens. One of the issues
that I have is not dating with a purpose. I’ll state what I want, but I don’t
follow through with it. For example, I want someone who is ready and will make
time for a relationship. Then the guy will give a sob story, and I’ll forgive
them for nonsense. I don’t listen to my gut when I notice red flags but brush
it off as if I’m overreacting. I am not and if that guy can’t make time then
move on. This year I will be more intentional about what I want, and whoever can’t
fall in line then exit stage left.
6. Start a YouTube Channel
I have a channel that I
started years ago, but I stopped uploading to it. I tried to recreate the magic
again with a past boyfriend, but that went left very quickly. However, I’m
going to revamp the channel that I started years ago. My new angle is around
reviewing the things that I like such as Halloween, discussing the topics from
this blog, rants, or other random things that are of interest. This channel
will be an extension of my blog and vice versa. I believe this will be a great
way to showcase my personality in the visual sense to the world. I’m going to
implement a schedule within the next few months detailing the days that I will
be posting videos.
7. Grow My Blog
I want this blog to grow to
its fullest potential. For that to occur, I need to be more consistent with
uploading content. I started to achieve this goal by planning out my blog topics
for each month beforehand. I should have applied this method sooner as it is beneficial.
I am just writing away as I know what I will be discussing. I need to draw more
attention to my blog via social media as having an online presence is paramount
for driving more traffic. I also plan on attending or creating speaking engagements
as a way to draw more attention to this blog. This blog is fantastic and more
people need to see what I have to offer. If there are any places that you know
is looking for someone, please contact me and let me know.
8. Create an App
I want to create an app for
Apple Store and Google Play. I have a few ideas which I don’t want to give away
on here (shhh), but I have been teaching myself how to code in my downtime. I
still have a lot of things to learn, but this has always been a passion project
of mine. My mentor knows someone who works in the Technology space and app
application is one of his expertise. I plan on networking with this person so I
can learn more about this area and get my idea out to the market.
9. Finish my First Draft of
my Graphic Novel
I have been working on this
graphic novel even longer than my poetry book. Many people aren’t even aware
that I had this novel in the works for years. I’m tired of not displaying my
talent, and it’s time for this novel to reach the light of day. This draft will
most likely take me the rest of the year to finish, but I’m determined to get
it done. I plan on creating a list of items that I have left which will include
deadlines for completion. Otherwise, this will never get done if I don’t create
a project plan to complete this draft.
10. Attending More Horror
Attending more conventions is
an easy goal as I’m the biggest horror fan ever! I already have one convention
planned for this coming March and looking forward to more this year. There is
another one in Dallas that I’m thinking about checking out in May while I’m
there visiting a friend. Of course, I’ll be looking for more as I’m completely addicted
to them. It’s like a candy store for a horror fan. It’s all the things you love
in one place. What could beat that?
What are your goals for 2019
and how do you plan on executing them? How do you keep yourself motivated? Let’s
help each other achieve our goals for this year!
Thkeya Life Inspiration turned one on Tuesday, January 8th.
Thank you so much for all your support during this past year. It was a fantastic start to becoming a blogger, and I’m looking
forward to what’s more to come. This year
I’m planning on growing this blog and making it more
prominent than ever! To celebrate this blog’s birthday, I will be running a contest starting today until Monday,
February 11th at 11:59 pm
eastern standard time. The contest rules are you have to like, comment and
share Thkeya Life Inspiration for an entire month. Whoever does this the most
will win the contest. The prize will be your choice of an iTunes or Amazon gift
card to be delivered via email. Be sure
to subscribe to Thkeya Life Inspiration to receive the most up to date
information on the contest. I appreciate all the support and thanks again for
continuing on this journey with me. Here’s to 2019 and all the new content that
I have in store for you. Good luck and may the odds be in your favor!
I watched the first
two episodes of “Surviving R. Kelly,” and I was punching the air. I was disgusted by what all these women
described, and my heart goes out to them. They were very brave to share
their stories, and I pray that they
continue to lead productive lives in spite of what has occurred. This story brought up many emotions in me, but one, in particular, is related to anger.
Black girls are not even thought of when it comes to matters of sexual abuse.
There are countless stories of abused black girls, and it gets swept under the
rug. When things like this happen to other girls,
it makes national headlines, and there is
a public outcry. What about black girls?
Do their lives not matter? It raises even more questions about why in the black
community do we protect the abuser instead of the abused. There is that one uncle that is a little too friendly, or you hear
family members speak about not letting a specific
person babysit. Let’s take it a step further to mom’s new boyfriend/husband or even the pastor. It’s that guy that hangs
out at the school that graduated many years ago or picking up a young girl from
school. It’s the guy that has a preference for young girls or a hiring manager
telling a potential hire how badly do you
want this job? I can go on and on with a gamut of situations. Everything goes
back to why is this allowed to continue?
The worse part of it all is women victim blaming other women
for their sexual abuse. They will be very quick to say she’s fast or she
deserved it based off how she dressed. It doesn’t matter how someone looks or
acts. They can be butt naked walking down the street. Nobody has a right to
touch or harass them in any way. As a society, there is too much victim blaming, and the anger should be towards the person who
deserves it. When will protection for the abusers STOP?! Every person who is
aware of a black girl who is victimized and
does nothing is just as guilty as the
person committing the crime. Please stop having girls go around their abuser
pretending as nothing happened. That is
hurtful and insulting to their mental wellbeing. You are in essence telling
them to accept toxic behavior and don’t expect anyone
to come to their aid. Being silent is also telling girls that their only
purpose is for the sexual gratification of men. This brainwashing mentality then gets passed down to
the next generation and so forth. Break the cycle now and stop protecting these
revolting men and have them locked up.
Some things you can rehabilitate
from, but pedophilia
is not something that I believe you can turn around (my opinion). One of the
hardest things for survivors to deal with
is people calling them liars. Once you do finally get over the guilt/shame and
then to be called a lair is disheartening. I can think of many things to lie about but being sexually abused is not one of
them. You are scrutinized and deemed as a deviant so who would want that drama.
Put your pride to the side and loneliness
to protect your child. Single mothers
especially need to be careful as someone could date you to get close to your daughter.
We all could be more vigilant and be more
who we let around our children. Also, we need to create an avenue when girls speak out about being abused that help at the forefront. Support is going to the police and getting therapy to name a few
ideas. It takes a lot of courage to speak out. If more girls saw that it was
safe to tell their truth, it will help
others to say theirs as well. Not
everyone who smiles in your face has good
intentions. Stop protecting these abusers as speaking out can save someone else’s
What are your thoughts on the R. Kelly situation? Have you dealt with this or know someone who has? If so,
what was the outcome? What are some ideas that we can do as a community to
prevent this from happening in the future? Let’s continue the dialogue in the
comment section below. FYI I know that many girls are impacted by sexually
abused. I’m calling out black girls due to the backlash that these brave women
were receiving online from speaking out about R. Kelly.
What a ride 2018 was for me and I’m sure for many of you as well. As I look back on the past year, I made a lot of strides both personally and professionally. I started a new job which next month will make it a year within the role. My blog is turning one year old next week. I traveled to four different places. I met new and old friends along my journey throughout the year. I further my love for horror by attending three horror conventions. As humans, we tend to focus on the negative and completely negate the positives that have occurred. One thing, in particular, is how much I’ve grown throughout the year. I first started this blog as a way for me to help others by sharing similar situations and feelings. Little did I know that the person who would benefit the most would be me. I learned so much about myself through this journey of being a blogger for a year. I learned that to be successful; I would have to open myself up to how and why I’m at this point in my life. There were things that I allowed to hold me back from accomplishing my goals. I had to go through a self-discovery where I had to look myself in the mirror and be honest. I had things about myself that I didn’t like and I needed to correct. I’m still a work in progress, but the most important part is that I’m working on making the necessary changes.
Instead of waiting for the “New Year.” I started to implement those changes before the start of 2019. It was the best decision I ever made. It’s not
perfect by any means, and unfortunately, I do fall short here and there. The
critical piece to remember is to continue to try your best at whatever you are
doing. Obstacles will come your way but keep it moving as not to derail your
purpose. Keep your eye on the prize and never forget the reason why you are
going for the gold. The difference between the person who goes after their
goals and the person who doesn’t is all about willpower. Mental willpower to be
exact. Mentally you will have to push through as there will be times when you will
want to give up. There will be times when you are tired, unmotivated,
uninspired, and don’t want to do it. Those are the times when your mental
willpower will have to kick into overdrive. We are human, and of course, you may
want a break. However, taking a break can turn into a few days, weeks, months,
and then years. You don’t want time to pass by, and you are still waiting for “next
year” to achieve your goals.
The power of the mind is mighty
as well as the power of the tongue. Think it and then speak it into existence.
You manifest what you get in life. It sounds insane to say that your mind is
powerful, but it’s a very true statement. If you think and speak negatively,
that will consume your life, and that’s all that you will become. Change your
mindset towards a more favorable outcome, and you will yield different results.
Manifest what you precisely want and watch it blossom. Nothing good will come
unless you believe it first. Cheers to 2019 and to all the wonderful blessings