Being an empath can be incredibly exhausting. I feel other people’s energy, and if the vibe isn’t right, it throws me completely off. I have been meticulous lately about who I let in my life. I don’t want to be in a situation where my energy is draining, or I feel uncomfortable around someone. I never want to make people feel uncomfortable, even if that’s my current emotion. Fast forward to recently; I started to date again. I know the dreaded dating scene. However, I’m going into it with a fresh perspective. I have a clear mindset of what I’m looking for in a mate. Previously I said I was looking for XYZ, but my potential suitors didn’t fit that match. That was my fault and not theirs.
I have an issue with saying no to people. My biggest fear is making someone feel like I don’t care for them or for them to feel useless. When it comes at the expense of your sanity, it’s hardly worth the effort. Saying no isn’t selfish, but saying yes to everything is. Think about it for a second. If you answer yes, even when you aren’t in the mood or not feeling the environment, who is hurt by this? Anything that directly impacts your mental health is not worth the effort.
You aren’t meant to be everyone’s cup of tea and vice versa. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with this. You can meet someone and instantly develop a connection, and for other people, it doesn’t exist at all. That doesn’t mean that something is wrong. All it means is that the two of you didn’t hit it off. Why force something that’s not working? I have never understood that way of thinking. Protect your energy and peace. If someone doesn’t understand this, then that person shouldn’t be in your life. The worst thing to be is misunderstood, and having someone not trying to understand you is even worst.
It’s a better use of time to spend it with like-minded people or people who have your best interest. Time and energy are very sacred pieces of yourself. Share life’s experiences with people who want to understand and have a place in your heart. Don’t hold onto temporary people as you will end up hurting yourself in the end.
What are some ways that you practice protecting your energy/peace?
Are you the type of person who can pick up the emotions and energy of other people? For example, if someone cries you immediately feel that pain and cry as well. If you see something disturbing on television, does it tend to stay with you for the rest of the day? If you answered yes to these questions, then you are very in tune with your emotions. Some may even argue that you are too emotionally ingrained in your feelings. Having these feelings can be a blessing and a curse at the same time. The blessing is that you are very empathetic to others which can be very helpful in romantic relationships. The downside is this makes you very susceptible to energy vampires. They tend to prey upon your empathetic nature and guilt you into things you may not necessarily be comfortable doing. You become so engulfed with that person that you forget who you are and lose yourself in the process. Here is when you have to be careful with your emotions and who you let in your life. It’s effortless to get caught up with other people as you feel you are helping them. The issue becomes when they are taking, but won’t be there for you when you need it. When this happens, it leaves you high and dry with nothing to show for it. You felt empty and drained of all your resources.
I have this issue myself, so
I have a tough time not offering to help.
I guess I feel like I have to or I should since the person is confiding in me.
However, just because someone is venting to you doesn’t mean you have to take
that on. Especially if that person is never pouring back into you, you must protect your mental peace and learn
to say no to people. You can have empathy, but
that doesn’t mean owning what that person is dealing with currently. There’s nothing wrong with saying this is too much for
me to handle, so I need to back away. I am giving that other person time and space to
work through their issues. I know people say that if you back away you are
selfish and never cared about that person. I disagree with that statement. If
your problems are escalating to a point
where it is impossible to have a healthy
happy relationship, it’s time to leave. Relationships
involve two people growing together and moving towards becoming one with each
other. If one person isn’t in a position to do this then how is the relationship supposed to last? You
can only take so much and if that person
isn’t trying to fix it then what other
choice do you have? The same can be said for friendships and family members as
You can love people from afar,
but that doesn’t mean let that drama
enter your life and impact your wellbeing. For those of you who don’t have this
issue, I am jealous of you. You can separate
yourself from people and the problems
that are surrounding them. However, to those who tend to take on the emotions
and difficulties of others, we must be careful. We must be very
picky about who we let into our personal
and mental space. People can pick up on how we are and then it can be used to
their advantage. Look out for the signs that this person isn’t as generous and
using you to feel better about themselves. Listen to your gut and remove
yourself from any situation that is detrimental
to your health. We aren’t going any more
days, months, nor years with toxic behavior. We will no longer allow this to dampen our spirits.
We are moving forward in life with our peace and anything that disturbs that is
way too expensive.
Do you feel that you are too empathetic? If so, what have you done to correct this? If not, what do you think makes people more empathetic than others?