Stop Wasting Your Own Time

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I’m sure by now you saw the pictures of the singer Cassie who is now married and pregnant. She spent the last ten years dating Diddy. Everyone kept saying that Diddy wasted her time, and they’re happy she moved on. I’m delighted for her as well. Judging by the photos, it appears that she’s in the right place. I would be remiss if I didn’t bring up the elephant in the room. Diddy didn’t waste her time unless she permitted him. That statement may be triggering for some but hear me out first. At any time Cassie could’ve walked away. Once she saw Diddy wasn’t going to give her what she wanted, then exit stage left. We can go and go about what people are doing to us but what about what we allow? You tell others how to treat you by what you will enable them to do. It’s easier to curve behavior when it’s not a habit. Once it’s committed to memory, it’s challenging to get someone to change.

I’m sure Cassie spent many days telling Diddy her expectations. I remember Diddy stating in interviews that he didn’t want to get married, nor did it appear that he wanted more children. The ball was in Cassie’s court to decide the next steps to make. She decided to stay, and now ten years later, she wanted out to pursue what she wanted. Nothing wrong with moving on, but she allowed herself to wait that long. Going after what you want is a smarter choice to make, as it will make you much happier. Telling someone that you aren’t buying what they’re selling is a liberating feeling. Remember, you aren’t asking for too much, you’re asking the wrong person to provide it. Maybe Cassie stayed to see if things would turn around. I’m not going to fault her for that as we all did that at some point. There comes a time when you have to accept responsibility for your actions. You don’t have control over anyone else but yourself. If someone isn’t doing something to make you happy, it’s time to move on.

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That’s the reason why a man can date a woman for six months and propose whereas he’ll date another woman for ten years. Men know who they want when they want. Ladies, we need to notice when the writing’s on the wall, it’s up to us to make a decision. The decision isn’t always up to men, and women have a say as well. You can’t stay in a sub-par situation and put all the blame on the other person. You decided to stick around, so you have to own your consequences. I get the feeling that Cassie knows this, and that’s why she’s not bashing Diddy.

I’m writing this for the folks who blame Diddy when Cassie wasted her own time. Person accountability is a step that most people won’t take. However, it’s smarter to own your part instead of playing the blame game. Learn from your mistakes so you can avoid this same mishap in the future.

What are some examples of you wasting your own time, and how did you resolve it?

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One Day Mad Rule

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I recently instituted a new rule in my life called the one-day mad rule. That means that I allow myself only one day to be upset. I have that whole day to work through whatever issues I’m having. Once I wake up the next day, it’s old news. I can no longer be upset about what happened yesterday. I have to exercise, hike, or anything to get my mind off what’s bothering me. The main objective is not to carry that anger with me through the next day. I’m telling you since I forced myself to adapt to this rule it’s been a complete game-changer. I had to get used to the idea, so it was a huge struggle at first. I’ve been following this for a month, and it increased my mood drastically. I’m in a much happier place, and most importantly I stopped getting on my nerves. Yes, that’s an authentic thing!

When you learn how to manage your emotions, it makes you a more pleasant person. People want to be around you more, and you overall give out positive vibes/energy. Plus, life is too short so what’s the point of holding onto all that negative energy? If you’re upset with someone forgive them and let it go. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to allow that person to stay in your life. It just means you won’t let that person remain rent-free in your head. When you’re holding all that toxic energy, you’re the one impacted. Whoever hurt you most likely doesn’t know nor care. There’s no point in wasting precious time on things that aren’t aiding your mental health. The one-day mad rule will take getting used to, but the benefits are worthwhile.

Start small and commit yourself to make a change. Once you decide that you will make this change, it becomes easier. Also, when I see myself getting frustrated, that’s when I take a break. I go for a walk, listen to music, etc. Anything to get my mind off the anger. Putting yourself in a different mindset helps you to make decisions from a logical standpoint instead of emotions. That will keep you from having to apologize often due to hurt feelings. That’s the difference between adults and children. Adults learn when to speak, apply their emotions, and when to keep quiet. If you haven’t mastered this art it takes time and practice to perfect it. However, I committed to change my behavior. I’m going to fall short, but I’m going to keep at it until it becomes second nature. My one-day mad rule is here to stay!

What are some ways that you learned how to handle and manage your emotions?

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