Happiness is Waiting

I’ve spoken previously about the importance of stepping out of your comfort zone to grow. You learn so much more about yourself when you take these opportunities. Recently, I put this thought process to the test during my latest trip to Los Angeles. I know family and friends don’t want me to move there, but I love the weather. We’ll see you never know what happens. Anyway, the purpose of this trip besides a vacation, of course, was to visit a relative of mine. I haven’t seen her in two years since she moved and this would be an opportunity to see her new surroundings. Since I knew she had to work, I decided to create an itinerary for myself. The flight was six hours from NJ, and I am not about to be sitting in a hotel waiting to hang out. I am incredibly grateful that I took this approach. I went overzealous with the activities, but I still was living my best life.

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The best part about having an itinerary in place is you never have to worry about what to do next. Having your activities planned out for the day takes out the guesswork of what to do on a given day. Of course, you don’t have to follow an itinerary word for word. However, it allows you to focus on the trip and not stress about what activities to do. Having these preplanned activities in place worked out perfectly as I was solo for half the trip. I spent time with my relative but not for the whole duration of my stay. The best part of this is that I was able to do the things I wanted to do without judgment from someone else. Spending time with myself not only allowed me to fulfill my interest but to learn how to deal with my own company too.

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Another significant part of my Los Angeles trip is that now I made a new friend. When you go on a trip solo, it forces you outside of your comfort zone.  Then for you to connect with others, you will have to put yourself out there. That is how I made a new friend in Los Angeles, and I gained a new travel buddy. She was out in Los Angeles solo as well, and we met at the same hotel. We even were staying on the same floor only three doors down from each other. I’m a firm believer that we were destined to meet. I heard of coincidences, but that had to be fate involved. I seriously would’ve missed out on all the fun and the people I met if I didn’t go on this trip.

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Of course, I would’ve loved to spend more time with my relative during my time in Los Angeles. However, I learned so much about myself due to this trip that I wouldn’t trade this experience for the world. I learned how resilient I could be when faced with new obstacles and challenges. This trip opened my eyes to the endless possibilities if only I would be willing to try and stop being scared. Remember you can’t have a lasting relationship with anyone if you can’t have one with yourself. Go on that trip, try out the new cooking class, or whatever your interest takes you. Stop letting the fear of the unknown stop you from living your best life. The happiness you are seeking is on the other side of fear.

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Until next time,

Thkeya Life (1)

Second Chances?

I recently found myself at a crossroads this week when it comes to second chances. What does it mean and how do you decide when it should be given? There are people who hurt you in the past and may believe that they have changed. However, in order for you to truly give a second chance then changes must be made. That other person has a responsibility to show you that they have truly seen the error of their ways and that improvements have occurred. Only then can a true second chance be given to that person.

You’re most likely saying to yourself all of that is great, but how do you know if a true change has really occurred? My answer to you would be that I can’t answer that question for you. This will be something that you will receive a gut instinct about. Trust your intuition and if you get a feeling that something is not right please listen to that. Only you will know ultimately what is best for you and that includes who you allow in your life. If the vibe is off that is your intuition telling you that this person is not genuine and to remove them completely out of your life.

I understand that this is a difficult thing to do as we have been programmed to be nice to everyone we come in contact with. I’m not trying to tell you to change that however, we all need to become more cautious of the people we have around us. Not everyone who comes into your life means you well. That person could have plans for you and not of the variety that you may prefer. Also, just because someone is a nice person doesn’t mean that person can’t hurt you. A hurt person will always hurt people around them. That saying is so true and it doesn’t matter if you are nice or not. Keep the people who are meant to be in your life and get rid of the ones who shouldn’t be there.

Be wary of giving out second chances to people. There are some people who deserve it and there are others who don’t. Be protective of your heart and don’t allow a pretty face/smile to make you forget all the hurt and pain that was caused. A person should discuss what they corrected/accomplished and not just what needs to change. That person is only telling you what he/she wants you to hear and will continue to pull at your heartstrings if you let them. Your heart, soul, and energy deserve the very best. Therefore, please don’t be as generous with your time as some people just want to deplete you of all your energy. Remeber just because you forgive someone doesn’t mean they are meant to be in your life.